Supasnug

[Picture of supasnug blanket]AN ITEM CAUGHT MY EYE WHILE SHOPPING RECENTLY.

I have to ask myself, who would buy this item? It is called “Supasnug”, and the legend states:

“Keeps You warm and Your Hands Free”. There is a picture to prove what it can do for you.

Click on the image to enlarge.

This seems fine if you are a Benedictine Monk in a chilly old monastery, but the box shows how attractive the Dominican Friar look can be to the opposite sex; it shows a young girl, also clad like a Cistercian, snuggling in.  This is a particularly uncomfortable image. He looks like her father. She hold a TV remote control suggestively.  Is there a bulge? She’s smiling far too much.  He only has one hand visible — yet we know BOTH hands are free.

He holds a cup of cappuccino (ironically enough), which puts them both at risk — there is a suggestion that the supasnug could be cappuccino-proof.  The next image to cross one’s mind is this man walking about making coffee dressed like a capuchin monk. This is not a good look, surely.

I do think this garb is dangerous and ugly.  How on earth does it fasten? At the back? “Blanket With Sleeve” suggests a single sleeve, but the picture shows two rather massive and frankly hazardous wizard sleeves. Risky with hot liquids in my opinion. I do not think it would attract women nor should it. Things are getting worse if you have a coffee and a smiling blonde snuggling into you, and you need more snugness to the extent of needing this garment.  Heaven preserve us! Buy second hand central heating or use a blanket!

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Second Hand Central Heating

[Photo of central heating for sale ad]I’VE SEEN SOME STRANGE THINGS SOLD IN NEWSAGENTS’ WINDOWS, BUT THIS STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS.

It is an advert, produced on a computer and printed out.  It is stuck on the inside of the shop window with blutack.  It reads:

FOR SALE

CENTRAL HEATING SYSTEM

ONLY USED ONE MONTH

Combi BOILER +7 RADIATORS

Make: HEAT-LINE s30 (100 Btu +)

3 X DOUBLE RAD -95cm

1 X DOUBLE RAD -141com

1 x DOUBLE RAD -81cm

1 X SINGLE RAD -71cm

1 X SINGLE -42cm

ANY FIRST OFFER ACCEPTED

GUIDE PRICE ANY??

PHONE MR ANSARI

Maybe it’s me being “picky”, but if it has been run for a month, then it will be “installed” and filled with water and possibly antifreeze as well.  What about radiator valves — are they included? Thermostatic? Lockshield?  Are the radiators fitted with brackets?  What about the flue? Is there a pump? Other valves? Fill tube?  Other pipes? Will it have to be drained and uninstalled — gas disconnected, and so forth?  I could go on, but I won’t.

Suffice it to say that a central heating system is designed to each and every particular home.  Each radiator is sized for an output of heat for each particular room, and possibly to fit under a certain size of window or in a certain length of free wall.

The bottom line is that you cannot sell a central heating system, you can sell the components, and to do that, you simply uninstall everything, drain them off and sell them individually. Things are getting worse — whatever next?  Some person selling their electrical wiring?

Grouching

[Picture of Nerdy Glasses Disguise aka Grouch Marx kit]KIDS TODAY! WHAT DO THEY KNOW?

It seems that they don’t know who Groucho Marx was, going on what I saw in a pound shop recently.  Please click on the picture to enlarge.

Things are getting worse indeed.  Time was when a child could put on a Groucho Marx disguise for a fancy dress party, and everyone would say, “There’s Groucho”.  Today, however, this same kit is now a “Nerdy Glasses Disguise”!

Groucho was never a nerd.  Do Nerds have moustaches like that?  Gimme a break!  It is a Groucho Marx kit minus the cigar (of course). Come on; credit where credit is due.

Authentic Italiano?

WHILE PASSING A CITY CENTRE ITALIAN RESTAURANT[Photograph of black board at Saninno's Glasgow], I WAS SURPRISED TO NOTICE INCORRECT ITALIAN ON A PROMINENT SIGN.

The hand-written blackboard sign states: “BON GIORNO” — How odd! This is not Italian!

The Italian for “Good Morning” is “BUONGIORNO” as anyone with an internet connection can quickly check (please double click on image to enlarge):

[Picture of screen grab of Google Translate for Good Mornign into Italian]

One would imagine that any business would (or should) proof-read public signs and notices, but when your business is trying to make out that it is “authentic” or genuinely Italian, getting right the only thing written in Italian would be even more important. Sempre più catastrofici!

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