Train-nerds

[Picture of mis-spelled trainers poster] I JUST HAD TO TAKE A SNAP OF THIS SHOP FRONT; it is quite ridiculous in so many ways. Click on the picture to enlarge (as always).

The orange sign is fine; it spells everything correctly, it has the sizes and the price, but that obviously was not sufficient for someone has added another handwritten sign.

This one is all about selling two pairs for a quid less, but it is hilarious! “Trainers” becomes “Trainners”, and it restates the price of £4 each — but then they go for the 2 for £7 and seem to realise that this could be misconstrued as 2 shoes, instead of two pairs — so they have added the word “pairs” and underlined the 2 and the £7 in red to make everything abundantly clear. Thank goodness too, for I might have been wondering if each trainner was £4 then a pair would set me back £8 (or £7 simply because I bought them both at the same time). Things are still getting worse!

Splendid!

Ugly Houses Wanted

[Picture of Ugly Houses Bought poster]THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BOUGHT AN UGLY FLAT OR HOUSE. According to a poster seen in the city centre, “ugly Houses” are wanted for cash! It is nice to see such openness and frankness about the subject! Although I doubt that estate agents will come around to using the word “ugly” in their speils. Click on picture to enlarge.

Pronounced E

WE NEED TO IMPROVE OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM.

The misuse and abuse of the poor apostrophe is nothing when compared with the widespread mispronunciation of “ae”.

When the letter “a” is joined with the letter “e”, the resulting sound is a long “e”. It is that simple. It is not sounded like a capital “A” (as in “hay” or “day”).

Examples:

Caesar (ceezar), encyclopaedia (en-sigh-klo-peed-ee-ah), paedophile (pee-doh-file), paediatrics (peed-ee-ah-trix), haemoglobin (hee-mo-globe-in), daemon (dee-mon).

A common example of common mispronunciation is Aerial (ee-ree-al). Scottish is perhaps the worst for this, for gaelic should be “gee-lik” not “gay-lik”.

The most annoying examples are found when people try to represent Glaswegian with a Scottish tool.

To do — do is pronounced “day” in Glasgow, but it is very often written as “dae” — which would be pronounced “dee” — which reveals it’s Scottish origins (it sounds more Dundonian to say dee for day) . This is probably due to the comic strips originating in Dundee, especially “Oor Wullie” and “The Broons”. Try reading them afresh, but pronounce the “ae” correctly — as in Dundee and not as in Glasgow, it will become clear that “dae” is indeed “dee” and not “day”.

Long have the Scots been annoyed by the English mispronouncing “loch” as “lok”. Now take the “ch” sound and soften it or quieten it down. The resulting sound was written down as “qu”.

So “qu” sounds like “ch” — but less wet, and more whispery — or more to the front of the tongue than the back.

Thus the word “quine” would be said, starting with a soft loch “ch” sound — yet I am always hearing people say “kwine”! The word “quine” is closer the word for child, “wean” (pronounced “wane”), than people seem to realise. The best way to pronounce Scottish words provided by the likes of Sir David Lyndsay and Robert Burns, is to abandon Glaswegian and embrace Scotland — the softer sing-song tones of Inverness and the highlands, or the lilts of the borders.

When reading “Oor Wullie” or “The Broons”, a Dundonian accent is required — not a Glaswegian one! Burns did not write for the Glasgow tongue. Malky the cartoonist mispelled back in the 70s, and now it’s “Still Game” and “Chewing The Fat” that compounds the error; “Gonnae no dae that” is what I see written, but as it is said “Gonny no day that” rather than “Gonee no dee that” the problem is clear: there is a long tradition of writing Scots, but there is no such tradition for writing Glaswegian — and so Glaswegians are taking the Scots spellings and mispronouncing them on the basis of a hard “ch” and the mistaken idea that “ae” is pronounced “hay”.

Things are Getting Worse.

Kerbs

[Picture of high pavement]THE COUNCIL SPENDS A FORTUNE on fences and bollards in an attempt to stop people parking up on the kerb when all they had to do was make the kerb higher.

There are plenty of examples of high kerbs, especially up in the Park Circus area, but also on Paisley Road West (see picture) , the West End and in Giffnock too.

The high kerbs were originally to do with getting into and out of horse-drawn carriages.

If the council really was serious about putting a stop to kerb parkers, then they could raise the pavements or sink the roads — but then the bollard company might go out of business (I wonder if any councillors have vested interests in fences and bollards).

It’s a bit like the speed camera idea — instead of allowing cars that can exceed the speed limits, governments could quite easily pass a law so that no car could go too fast — but that would not bring in any revenue. Having high kerbs would solve a ‘problem’, but there is income to be had from ticketing offenders — and even moreso when there are double yellow lines.

New Restrictions in Shawlands

ROADS ARE SO BADLY DESIGNED AND TOWNS SO POORLY PLANNED THAT MOTORISTS HAVE TO RESORT TO PARKING ON KERBS AND PAVEMENTS.

My post from 18 May 2007, entitled Parking on Pavements explained this in more detail. In Shawlands in recent weeks double yellow lines have appeared at junctions which already have fencing and bollards, so quite what effect they might have is beyond me. [pdf of Shawlands’s Traffic Plan]

The yellow lines at other junctions seem to be there to make the council money — especially from people who park right up on the pavement.

  • My earlier post of 26 April 2007 entitled Traffic Calming explains why the council has caused the parking problem in the first place!

[picture of a parking on a pavement in Shawlands]OK, let’s look at the most ridiculous example — which I would guess would be a car completely or almost completely parked on the pavement — Is this a serious problem? Well I went out with my camera today to find out. Because of all the fences and bollards, it is no longer as widespread as it once was, in fact it is downright rare. But I found one and took a picture.

As you can see, even though the car is almost entirely on the pavement, there is no impediment to pavement users. In this particular case, I can see nothing wrong with the effect, but everything wrong with the cause (the design of the pavement). This car is not a problem to anyone — but now, sadly, there will be a ticket on the windscreen.

picture of wide pavement in Shawlands]

Look at the picture above. It shows a very wide Shawlands pavement that has been WIDENED. The old pavement kerb is now a rainwater gully. Note the fences to stop parking on the kerb, and note the dimpled surface for the partially sighted that is such a problem for skateboards, rollerskates, prams, luggage and anything else with wheels. This is appalling town planning! The pavement is far too large — better use should have been made of this — I include the picture to show how bizarre it has become in recent years.

It seems that, evermore in this country, we refuse to use common sense. There is no understanding or consideration any more, just road-raged angry people jabbing their fingers at the letters of the law.

Rather than adding double yellow lines so that the council can fine this person, wouldn’t it have been better to look at the underlying problem? This is a pavement of twelve feet — that is the same as the width of the road itself!

[picture of obstacles to pedestrians]Is this car causing more of an obstruction than litter? I took a picture from a different angle just to make this point. Once you have imagined pushing a pram, walking a dog, or using a zimmer walking frame, I am sure you will agree that the cars are not causing as much of a problem as everything else.

I will say it again: the council is anti-car and anti-pedestrian. It is patently obvious; we have to put rubbish out the front onto the pavements, we have to cope with huge wheelie bins from the shops, and there are all the bollards, fences, traffic lights, zig-zags, speed bumps and now double yellow lines.

[Picture of Pollokshaws rd]In conjunction with the double yellow lines, the council has removed about a hundred parking spaces at the back of the arcade, on Pollokshaws Road, in the picture you will see the new bollards on both sides of the road and the in-filled parking bay. This road is not terribly busy, and parking was never a problem — what a massive shame! Naturally, the cars that used to use this area have to go somewhere else — so it is no solution. All this just means that it is increasingly difficult to find a parking space and it is increasingly difficult to use the pavements too. Shawlands is being choked, and it feels more oppressive and claustrophobic nowadays — like the West End in fact. Soon we’ll all be buying resident’s parking bays, you mark my words.

Gonny No Day That?

[picture of train sign]I SPOTTED THIS ON A TRAIN — and it amazed me.

“PLEASE DO NO
PUT YOUR FEET
ON THE SEATS”

Can you believe that they missed out the letter “T” so that “NOT”has become “NO” — very Glaswegian! How many of these signs have been made? It really beggars belief. Yes things are getting worse.

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