Second Hand Central Heating

[Photo of central heating for sale ad]I’VE SEEN SOME STRANGE THINGS SOLD IN NEWSAGENTS’ WINDOWS, BUT THIS STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS.

It is an advert, produced on a computer and printed out.  It is stuck on the inside of the shop window with blutack.  It reads:

FOR SALE

CENTRAL HEATING SYSTEM

ONLY USED ONE MONTH

Combi BOILER +7 RADIATORS

Make: HEAT-LINE s30 (100 Btu +)

3 X DOUBLE RAD -95cm

1 X DOUBLE RAD -141com

1 x DOUBLE RAD -81cm

1 X SINGLE RAD -71cm

1 X SINGLE -42cm

ANY FIRST OFFER ACCEPTED

GUIDE PRICE ANY??

PHONE MR ANSARI

Maybe it’s me being “picky”, but if it has been run for a month, then it will be “installed” and filled with water and possibly antifreeze as well.  What about radiator valves — are they included? Thermostatic? Lockshield?  Are the radiators fitted with brackets?  What about the flue? Is there a pump? Other valves? Fill tube?  Other pipes? Will it have to be drained and uninstalled — gas disconnected, and so forth?  I could go on, but I won’t.

Suffice it to say that a central heating system is designed to each and every particular home.  Each radiator is sized for an output of heat for each particular room, and possibly to fit under a certain size of window or in a certain length of free wall.

The bottom line is that you cannot sell a central heating system, you can sell the components, and to do that, you simply uninstall everything, drain them off and sell them individually. Things are getting worse — whatever next?  Some person selling their electrical wiring?

Constructive Criticism

[Picture of spelling mistake on van livery]I WAS AMAZED TO SEE A SPELLING MISTAKE ON A VAN LIVERY.

I just had to snap a picture with my camera-phone for your delectation.

[Please click on the image to enlarge, as always]

An hand-written sign containing a spelling error is bad enough, and something printed with an error is unforgivable (especially when it is an advert), but the worst possible instance has to be to have a mistake on your van.

A van is a mobile advert — that is the whole point of livery — and because it is a mobile advert, it has to be minimal and accurate.

All the information on this van is of crucial importance to getting business.  One cannot afford to get the web site URL wrong, have an error in the e-mail address, or put on the wrong telephone or fax numbers.

In this example, instead of “construction”, they have “constructuion”, so on the one hand, it may be argued that the reader (and prospective customer) would know what was meant — but it could equally well be argued that things are getting worse and that this company are simply careless — they actually do construction, “construction” forms part of the company name — the one they registered at Companies House, and “construction” is spelled correctly elsewhere on the van!

Deary me! Can’t we do better than that?

MIND BLOWING?

[Picture of Shawlands arcade community noticeboard notice about mind blowing prices]IF MY MIND DOES NOT “BLOW”, is this a breach of the Trades Descriptions Act?

The sign on the community notice board inside Shawlands Shopping Centre states:

 

“THE KIOSK
Now Open
Bigger & Better
than before
More variety
At prices that are
MIND BLOWING”

Please click on the picture to enlarge.

This also begs the questions (1) is a “mind blowing price” cheap or expensive? Good or bad? and (2) Is having one’s mind blown something one ought to desire?

Glasgow Shop’s Apostrophic Grammar!

[Picture of Employment Agency Window in Glasgow City Centre]BAD GRAMMAR IN PUBLIC NOTICES IS GETTING WORSE WHEN THE NOTICES ARE HANDWRITTEN. However, the problem is not merely confined to the handwritten; look at the shop front is the picture (click to enlarge).

This is an employment agency’s shop front. The entire window is an advertisement billboard, they are seeking (sic):-

  • Joiner’s
  • Plumber’s
  • Electrician’s
  • Labourer’s
  • Cleaner’s
  • Lineworker’s

This is a bizarre example of misuse of the apostrophe. One would think that someone would have told them by now, but it has been like this for ages. Perhaps people do not realise the problem.
Things are getting worse.

More Apostrophe Abuse

[picture of more apostrophe abuse]MORE APOSTROPHE ABUSE ABUSE IN A PUBLIC NOTICE.

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