Heterosexual Pants

[Photograph of label inside pair of jeans]HETEROSEXUAL TROUSERS FOR SALE?

These were spotted in a local Tesco store. They are clearly labelled as not being suitable for homosexual men.

It is perhaps nice to know that straight men can now begin to dress better on a budget.

Coleslaw Overkill

[Picture of tesco aisle - coleslaw]WE WERE GRATEFUL TO RECEIVE A PHOTOGRAPH BY E-MAIL OF A TESCO SUPERMARKET AISLE SIGN.

It would seem from this picture (click pic to enlarge), that there is a LOT of coleslaw on aisle 5.

Ironically, there was NO coleslaw to be found on aisle 5, just green vegetables on one side and ready meals on the other.

Perhaps Tesco were anticipating a great demand for coleslaw this Christmas holidays?

Who knows… but Merry Christmas with or without it anyway!

Strange Place to Have a Door

20121008dpyjamasMAGAZINE HEADLINES ARE GETTING WORSE.

Click on image to enlarge.

This magazine states:

“ALEX SMASHED DOWN
THE DOOR IN HIS PYJAMAS”

I have never heard of anyone having a door in their pyjamas, let alone smashing it down. This is a “World Exclusive”.  I fear that this glamorises domestic violence (or at the very least, normalises it). I cannot see what is to be gained by leading with this story; it cannot be good for anyone reading about it or involved in it.

The fact that he smashed down a door is enough, the added detail of being in his pyjamas is irrelevant – but it serves to just lower the tone that extra notch, it is the same as the choice of the word “Frolicked” or the term “Breakdown”.

This poor couple are going through a rough, tough time. They are not really celebrities, but they are not “ordinary” people either. It is such a shame that their financial security depends on having their ups and downs displayed on trash magazine covers.

Yes, Things Are getting Worse.

Pole!

[Picture of the dancing pole in the pub]MY COMPANION AND I WENT FOR A NICE LUNCH IN THE CITY CENTRE.

It was Yates’s on Sauchiehall Street, and it was doing a brisk business; the place was filled with mothers with babies in prams, older people and some office workers.

Imagine our surprise to see a platform and pole! We were told by our waiter that these poles were used in the evening for pole dancing and lewd behaviour! We watched in horror as a toddler played with one.

As far as we could determine, the poles are for free public use, not for professional pole-dancers. This, I suppose, means that anyone, at any time, could suddenly decide to dance with one — even at lunchtime!

Pole dancing, I have been assured, is something undertaken by young women, rather than by men.  It is therefore something of symbol against which feminists rally. Does it really have to be on open public display at lunchtime? Is it actually required at all  (isn’t there an issue with Health & safety)?

Things are getting worse when pole dancing is so commonplace that it merits no raised eyebrows nor comment from mums having lunch.

Don’t Buy Condoms

[Poster about Free condoms]WE WERE INTERESTED TO DISCOVER THAT CONDOMS COST NOTHING IF YOU LIVE IN GLASGOW.

All you have to do is pop along and pick up as many as you need. No questions asked. This seems to be an endeavour to reduce teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

[close up of condom poster - with information]What we found more interesting is that the posters for this are located in Gents’ toilets in pubs and restaurants – next to condom dispensing machines! (see also this post)

From what we have heard, chaps would still rather pay a few quid to get dispensed condoms in a toilet than get free ones – and this is a great surprise to us.

We always assumed that men would fall into two camps, those who use condoms and those who refuse to. It had not occurred to us that the condom user camp would be divided into those who would rather buy them and those who like freebies!

Scary Waves

[Photo of radiation shields for mobile phones]WE LIVE IN A SCARY WORLD IT SEEMS.

I recently found in a shop items called “Radiation Shields”. These are for shielding you from the supposedly harmful radiation caused by mobile phone signals and by computer wi-fi zones.

This was a surprise to find, and suddenly I am extremely worried. [Click on image to enlarge]

Is the free wi-fi in my favourite café actually harming me?  Can everyone’s mobile phones be causing me harm? Do I need shielded from this “radiation”? The packaging suggests that this ought to be a real concern, the products have been “tested and approved”. Ought we not to be provided such things free on the NHS?  Why is this not a massive scandal?

If wi-fi and phone signals are safe, then how can selling such items be justified?

Things are getting worse when a little bit of browsing round the shops creates fear.

BBQ Wine

[Photo of barbi wine bottle]WINE LABELS AND NAMES THESE DAYS TRY TO ATTRACT A CERTAIN TYPE OF CUSTOMER.

I wonder who would buy Barbi wine?

Still, if you click on the image to enlarge it, you will see that the wine looks quite serious and not at all what one might expect from the name.  I wonder how it tastes? Perhaps it would go well with barbecue meats?

It could be that the family name of the wine producers is Barbi, in which case (excuse the pun), it would be unfortunate, particularly if they have daughters at school.

 

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