Cheeky Service Boast?

[Picture close up of rental van cheeky boast]I COULD BARELY BELIEVE ME EYES WHEN I SPOTTED THIS RENTAL VAN.

I took a picture (Double Click on the images to enlarge). Things are definitely getting worse when companies think that cheeky service is a good thing!  This firm clearly believe that it is a good selling point, and that customers out there must be eager to experience some cheek and impertinence!

[Picture of rental van cheeky boast]

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Pot Luck on Roads

[Picture of pot holes at Battlefield monument, Glasgow]THE ROADS ARE IN A DREADFUL STATE.

However, it seems that the council’s new LLCs would rather spend our tax-quids on speed cameras and speed humps in parking bays than fix the pot holes!

It is no exaggeration, and there is often no opportunity to avoid driving into them because of cars parked either side of the road.

[Picture of pot holes at Battlefield monument, Glasgow]

These photographs were taken at the Battlefield monument right outside the Victoria Infirmary (one of the two southside hospitals in Glasgow city).  I pity the occupants of ambulances that have to deal with these pot holes on a daily basis!

Mind you, according to a news story I read, the repairs are never done very well. It’s all one big money-spinning racket. We’re going to pot (holes) — and, yes, things are still getting worse!

TK-Maxxism

[Picture of transsexual Buddha at TKMaxx]A BUDDHA THAT IS THIN, STANDING, WEARING A KIMONO, WITH A HAIRDO AND LIPSTICK?

Yes, that’s right.  At TK Maxx (Silverburn), you can buy a trendy, modern, trans-sexual Buddha to add that finishing touch to your ideal home.

This is the surely the perfect Christmas gift!

Can things get worse?

Last Bus Unknown

[Picture of Firstbus notice about service 121 changes]SOME OTHER BUS COMPANY WILL BE WORKING THIS ROUTE SOMETIMES, BUT WE’RE NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHO IT IS —  JUST THAT IT ‘AIN’T US, SO THERE!

That is basically what the following notice is about (please double click on the image to see it enlarged).

This is what it states:

First
transforming travel

CUSTOMER NOTICE

Service 121
Govan – Victoria Infirmary

From Friday 7 November a revised timetable
will operate on service 121 as a result of changes to
the SPT tender.

First Glasgow will continue to operate the service
during
the day Monday to Saturday.

In the early morning, evening and all day Sundays
another operator will run service 121.

Please call Strathclyde Partnership for Transport on
0845 271 2405 for details of the service at these times.

For further information visit
http://www.firstgroup.com/glasgow or call Customer
Services on 0141 423 6600 for more details.

It is beyond me why they couldn’t put all the information on the notice — we have just enough information to make a phone call or visit a website — hey, yeah, thanks for that guys!

Just in time for Christmas office parties, when people will be leaving their cars and relying on public transport!

Things are getting worse when routes are carved up like this anyway — everyone loses the plot.  Will the new operator be using the usual 121 bustops (the First Glasgow stops)? Will the timetable remain, or will it change for the better or worse?  What about fares?  Will bus passes, travel passes and cards still work?

What a mess — and we didn’t even see it coming (bit like the bus service itself)!

I Cannot Spell My Own Name!

[Photograph of Tesco store complaints notice]A PUBLIC NOTICE GOES BEYOND PROOF-READING AND SPELL-CHECKING, AND SETS A NEW LOW STANDARD.

The notice (click on picture to enlarge) reads as follows:

My name is Davuid Hoggan and I am the Store
Manager.

I’ve worked for Tesco for 23 years, previously at the
store in    Glasgow

My team and I are here to help you.  If you have any
comments, please feel free to speak to one of us and
we will do our best to help.

If we are unable to resolve your query satisfactorily,
please contact our Customer Services Team on 0800-
028-6428.

Hi,
My name is David Hoggan and I’m the Store Manager
here at your Tesco Express.  My team and I are here
to help you.  We discuss any comments you make –
the good and the bad!  Hopefully we can deal with
them ourselves, but if not we will enlist the support of
colleagues in the office.

If you have a few minutes, please do stop for a chat. If
we are not able to help with your queries, please feel

free to contact our Customer Services Team on 0800-
028-6428.

Where does one start with this?

It is a mess, and it is a mess because they are trying to be informal — they are using the first person when it is inappropriate (it might have been forgiveable had a photograph of the Store Manager been employed next to the text).

It is a mess because they are tying to avoid using the word, “Complaint”. That is why they have said “comments”, and messed it up by saying that the comments can be good or bad, when obviously they mean bad comments (i.e. complaints)!

They seem to want Tesco customers to stop and have a chat with shop-floor staff and the Store Manager– to give them good comments so that they can discuss them among themselves.  If they cannot “deal” with your good comments, they reserve the right to “enlist” “support” from colleagues in “the office”.  If you feel your good comments have not been handled satisfactorily, then they want you to telephone a Customer Services Team!

It’s a mess because the manager couldn’t decide which notice to use, and so he clearly didn’t check anything properly — so it looks like he doesn’t even know his own name; is it Davuid or David?

It’s a mess because it is apparent that, despite the personal touch intended, it is clearly a template document.  The evidence of this is the long blank gap before the word “Glasgow”, where he was supposed to type in the store area name.  For all we know, the 23 years could be from the template, and he just forgot to substitute his actual number of years of service!

What is so wrong with a simple, straightforward notice on the lines of the following?

If you have a complaint, please speak in the first instance to a member of staff, or ask to see the Store Manager, Mr David Hoggan, who has worked for the company for 23 years.  If he cannot resolve your issues, the matter may be referred to the company offices.  If you then feel that the matter is still not resolved to your satisfaction, please telephone our free Customer Services helpline on 0800 028 6428.

Good grief!  Things are certainly getting worse when supermarket customers have to read drivel like this when they just want to complain about something, or ask for something to be stocked!  I suspect there is some bureaucratic Tesco requirement for all stores to put up such notices, and to (ab)use that language.

Put it this way, what chance has your complaint, when the company “thinking” is so muddled?

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