Wise Up To Banks

POOR BANKERS.

Not so long ago we were occupied in hunting them down for their years of illegal and excessive charges and fees, and we got refunds galore until the pre-trial freeze.

Then some banks tried to be rotters — saying they would charge us to have a current account — while others tried to be warm and cuddly.

Now we have the credit crunch and the financial system is in turmoil!

So I thought it would be nice ot have a reminder of when (only a few months ago) some banks were trying to be customer friendly…

From a web site called Influx insights, an article on Barclay’s Bank showed that they were trying to rebrand to get rid of the old ways — and this even extended to language.

For example, instead of ATMs, they would use “Hole in the Wall”.

[Picture of a table of old and new bank signs]

This was announced on the Barclay’s web site with their marketing director’s quote:

“Banks have for a long time come across as unfriendly simply by the way they communicate to customers. The chain on the pen sums up the relationship banks have had with their customers for too long — basically we don’t trust you to leave this pen behind after you use it, yet we expect you to entrust us with your life savings. It’s about time we redressed the balance and made ourselves part of the twenty first century – and a free pen is a small gesture to show customers we value their custom.”

“Equally we will be using language that everyone knows and understands. Instead of having signs saying ‘Customer Service’, we will be replacing them with ones that simply say ‘Can I Help’. That awful acronym ATM will also go, to be replaced by words like ‘Hole in the Wall’, after all I don’t know anyone in Manchester who goes to an ATM to get money out, but I know a fair few who pop off to the Hole in the Wall. Overall, this use of simple, accessible language will complement our main work which involves offering great value for money to our customers.”

Ah, pity we have the present problem.

While we are on the topic, what ought we to do about it?

[Picture of Decision Grid on banks and deposits]

We were e-mailed this, so I cannot give credit to the original website, and we ask that you please accept our apologies for the “bad word” used in this graphic. Remember to double-click on the image to open it in a larger format for easier reading.

This is a common-or-garden variety decision grid. The rows are options outwith your control, the columns are decisions you have the power to make, the intersection of row and column is an outcome.

I think it is obvious that the best thing to do is to withdraw all your savings, investments and pension immediately.  You heard it here first!

Best of luck!

General Bigotry

[Picture of Newspaper hoarding]BIGOTRY AND SECTARIANISM ARE EVERYWHERE STILL IN GLASGOW; IT’S JUST EVERYDAY BACKGROUND NOISE.

The newspaper board states:

“GERS PUT
GUARD ON
NOVO AFTER
NET BIGOTS’ THREAT”

Rangers, Celtic, Christian vs Christian. How sad indeed.  Things are getting worse when the bigotry can use new technology to scare a family.

How To Do The Loo

[Picture of toilet sign]WE NOW NEED INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE THE TOILET.

Click on the picture to enlarge.

One has only to wonder at the reasons behind making this poster! Things are getting worse when this sign becomes necessary!

Sliced Bread is Illegal

[Picture of bakery sign about slicing organic bread]THE COUNCIL OF EUROPE HAVE PASSED A LAW THAT FORBIDS THE SALE OF SLICED BREAD.

This is according to my local supermarket — where I saw a sign at the bakery.  Click on the picture to enlarge.  Please accept my apologies for the blurry image.  It says:

“Organic Bread

EU Regulations mean that we cannot
offer pre-sliced Organic Bread from our
instore bakery.  We can however slice
organic bread at your request but this
will be done on our regular bread slicer.
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.”

I find it amazing that there is an EU regulation on bread slicing — why would there be?  And why have they decided against slicing bread.

The next thing to worry about, is that the baker will slice your organic loaf — but that it will not be done using an organic-only slicer.  Perhaps some people will feel that their bread might be in some way contaminated by coming into contact with something not officially “organic”?

Is the world going mad, or is it just me that things things are getting worse?

The Silly Road Sign

[Picture of silly road sign]IS THIS THE SILLIEST ROAD SIGN EVER?

Just look at it!  It is TINY.  It is the size of a business card.

It says “No loading at any time”, but you’d need to either have outstanding eyesight, or park your vehicle, and walk up to the sign to read what it says!  It is also very high up; you would need to be fairly tall to read it comfortably.

Look at the size of the pole that supports this small sign!

[Picture of silly road sign]It beggars belief that they couldn’t have fixed this sign to the WALL — what a lot of bother digging up the pavement to erect the pole!

It is completely daft, and goes to illustrate the lack of common sense by local authorities who spend our hard-earned council taxes on bizarre things like this.

When I first saw this, I imagined it was some expensive public work of art; that’s how ridiculous it seemed.  Yes, things are getting worse!

McIndian?

Picture of Indian Restaurant Sign showing CheeseburgerA NEW SIGN FOR AN INDIAN RESTAURANT SHOWS CHIPS AND A CHEESEBURGER!

Picture of Indian Restaurant Sign showing fries

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, for only in Glasgow would you find a fancy new sign for an Indian Restaurant that to the illiterate or non-English-speaking visitor could be mistaken for McDonald’s.

I love the way the word “Tandoori” is emblazoned beneath the cheeseburger.  I wonder if the meat is Halal — we already know it’s not kosher on account of mixing a dairy product with a meat product.  Whatever it is, it ‘ain’t Indian!

Here’s the full sign for you to enjoy in all it’s glory.  Note that they do kebabs and pizzas as well — hey, why are they not doing Chinese food?

Picture of Indian Restaurant Sign showing Cheeseburger and Fries

Things are getting worse!

%d bloggers like this: