Glasgow Crime Poster


It states:

fewer victims of common assault”

I don’t know about you, but this poster troubled me.

First of all, why are the police paying for advertising posters like this? Is this a good use of financial resources? Perhaps, as a result of the suggested drop in criminal activity, the police have the time and money for this project?

It then begs the question, why are there fewer victims? The police deal with assault, rather than with the reasons for assault, so they cannot be given credit for lower crime, however, the poster carries the  suggestion that the Police have had some positive effect, that the police in some way are responsible for the drop in this crime figure, when such a notion is utterly preposterous.

This leads to the next question: are there fewer victims of common assault because of a drop in reported assaults, a change in the definition of common assault or victim, or a change in reporting period?  What is the context, and what possible reasons – what lessons can we learn? The poster is an insult to the intelligence.

We’re not especially au fait with Scots Law, so the term, common assault, suggests that there could well be other kinds of assault (although I don’t know what they are, nor if they exist), perhaps the figures have been manipulated such that the 3691, or a portion thereof, has been taken from the common assault category and simply moved to another category, or other categories, of assault.

I have a problem too with the number given.  It is not a percentage, it is an extremely precise (not rounded up or down) figure, 3691.

What does this number mean? Fewer than what and when? 3691 fewer than last week? Last year? what?

Finally, if the poster is not pro-Police, but simply to make Glaswegians happier or to feel safer, it fails miserably because 3691 is a massive number — and yet it is not the number of common assaults, it is merely the variation!  If 3691 is the drop, what on earth is the actual number of common assaults?  Having a drop of 3691 implies that common assaults must be many times greater than this figure.  One ought to immediately begin to take care as assault is very likely imminent.

I must say that it would not be much of a comfort to visitors to the city. Poor tourists! Mind you, they ought to have heard about Glasgow’s violent reputation before coming, from sites such as this. Or this.

Things are getting worse when Police put up posters to scare or con an unsuspecting public.


Heterosexual Pants

[Photograph of label inside pair of jeans]HETEROSEXUAL TROUSERS FOR SALE?

These were spotted in a local Tesco store. They are clearly labelled as not being suitable for homosexual men.

It is perhaps nice to know that straight men can now begin to dress better on a budget.

Police Parking


The police would quite happily arrest you if you broke the law, but they do it themselves all the time. I often see police cars park inappropriately (and even thoughtlessly).  They run traffic lights, cause all sorts of problems chasing boy racers.

They are never around when things turn violent; most of the time they seem to be strolling about ASDA buying cola and cakes. I wish I were joking; I cannot think of a time I have been shopping in a supermarket that there hasn’t been at least four uniformed police wandering around, shopping for snacks.

The most annoying, though, for me, is parking on double yellow lines. They do it all the time. Every day, right outside Strathclyde Police HQ on Pitt Street, there are double yellow lines, cones and signs — and yet I have never walked past and it has been clear.

[Picture from Google Maps of Pitt Street Police HQ]There always seems to be a police car, an unmarked police car,  a van, or something else parked right outside — and as far as I can see, no tickets have been given, no fines paid, no fines paid, and no vehicle towed away. Ever.

In fact, if you go to Google maps and look at the street view, there are police bikes right outside the front door!

It is bad enough when police flaunt the rules of the road, but it takes it to another level to do it right outside police headquarters! Things are getting worse indeed.

Single Illnesses Only


This means that if you have two illnesses, you have to make two appointments and wait in the waiting room for each ailment.

This could be a problem for people who work — especially those who work for themselves, and more particularly, men; statistics show that men are less likely to visit the GP surgery than women.

I know men who work for themselves, who don’t want to bother the GP with “trifling” complaints, and who stock up ailments until matters reach the tipping point. In short, they visit the GP when they have collected a sufficient number of problems.

This is time management.  It is cost-effective for both the NHS and the patient.

But all that has changed. For each thing, patients now have to make a unique appointment, which lasts a maximum of ten minutes.

It used to be that a mother could visit the GP, discuss her baby’s problems, and have a personal issue raised at the same visit – while she’s sat there. This is no longer the case.

Things are definitely getting worse.

Secret Road Sign

[Picture of bus stop hiding u turn sign]WHAT A STUPID PLACE TO PUT A ROAD SIGN.

Click on the image to enlarge.

On Pacific Drive down at the BBC and opposite the SECC is a bus stop. For some unknown reason, the bus shelter is some distance away from the bus stop itself. The strangest thing is that there is a road sign (no U-Turn) obscured by the bus shelter!

It is impossible to see this road sign.

The entire arrangement is not very well thought through; the street lighting pole could have been incorporated — either for the bus stop or the No U-Turn sign.  The shelter ought to be nearer the bus stop. Things are getting worse when a simple uncluttered space can be turned into a mess by the so-called city planners.


[Picture of the dancing pole in the pub]MY COMPANION AND I WENT FOR A NICE LUNCH IN THE CITY CENTRE.

It was Yates’s on Sauchiehall Street, and it was doing a brisk business; the place was filled with mothers with babies in prams, older people and some office workers.

Imagine our surprise to see a platform and pole! We were told by our waiter that these poles were used in the evening for pole dancing and lewd behaviour! We watched in horror as a toddler played with one.

As far as we could determine, the poles are for free public use, not for professional pole-dancers. This, I suppose, means that anyone, at any time, could suddenly decide to dance with one — even at lunchtime!

Pole dancing, I have been assured, is something undertaken by young women, rather than by men.  It is therefore something of symbol against which feminists rally. Does it really have to be on open public display at lunchtime? Is it actually required at all  (isn’t there an issue with Health & safety)?

Things are getting worse when pole dancing is so commonplace that it merits no raised eyebrows nor comment from mums having lunch.

Don’t Buy Condoms


All you have to do is pop along and pick up as many as you need. No questions asked. This seems to be an endeavour to reduce teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

[close up of condom poster - with information]What we found more interesting is that the posters for this are located in Gents’ toilets in pubs and restaurants – next to condom dispensing machines! (see also this post)

From what we have heard, chaps would still rather pay a few quid to get dispensed condoms in a toilet than get free ones – and this is a great surprise to us.

We always assumed that men would fall into two camps, those who use condoms and those who refuse to. It had not occurred to us that the condom user camp would be divided into those who would rather buy them and those who like freebies!

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