Paris Seine

[Photo of mislabelled baguettes]THIS WAS SPOTTED IN A LOCAL GLASGOW CO-OP.

Click on the image to enlarge.

It’s a basket of Bread. Baguettes or French sticks.  However, the co-op is trying to compete with M&S and sell fancy food from around the world.

This must be the idea behind the label, it states:

Parisien baguette

Clearly, they meant the baguette to be from Paris, in which case it ought to have been labelled, Parisienne Baguette.

Things are getting worse when shops try to be cosmopolitan and fail, despite having Google available.

Glasgow Crime Poster

[Photo of police poster]THIS POSTER WAS SPOTTED OUTSIDE CROSSMYLOOF RAILWAY STATION IN SHAWLANDS.

It states:

“3691
fewer victims of common assault”

I don’t know about you, but this poster troubled me.

First of all, why are the police paying for advertising posters like this? Is this a good use of financial resources? Perhaps, as a result of the suggested drop in criminal activity, the police have the time and money for this project?

It then begs the question, why are there fewer victims? The police deal with assault, rather than with the reasons for assault, so they cannot be given credit for lower crime, however, the poster carries the  suggestion that the Police have had some positive effect, that the police in some way are responsible for the drop in this crime figure, when such a notion is utterly preposterous.

This leads to the next question: are there fewer victims of common assault because of a drop in reported assaults, a change in the definition of common assault or victim, or a change in reporting period?  What is the context, and what possible reasons – what lessons can we learn? The poster is an insult to the intelligence.

We’re not especially au fait with Scots Law, so the term, common assault, suggests that there could well be other kinds of assault (although I don’t know what they are, nor if they exist), perhaps the figures have been manipulated such that the 3691, or a portion thereof, has been taken from the common assault category and simply moved to another category, or other categories, of assault.

I have a problem too with the number given.  It is not a percentage, it is an extremely precise (not rounded up or down) figure, 3691.

What does this number mean? Fewer than what and when? 3691 fewer than last week? Last year? what?

Finally, if the poster is not pro-Police, but simply to make Glaswegians happier or to feel safer, it fails miserably because 3691 is a massive number — and yet it is not the number of common assaults, it is merely the variation!  If 3691 is the drop, what on earth is the actual number of common assaults?  Having a drop of 3691 implies that common assaults must be many times greater than this figure.  One ought to immediately begin to take care as assault is very likely imminent.

I must say that it would not be much of a comfort to visitors to the city. Poor tourists! Mind you, they ought to have heard about Glasgow’s violent reputation before coming, from sites such as this. Or this.

Things are getting worse when Police put up posters to scare or con an unsuspecting public.

Mystery Machine

[Photo of mystery machine]I AM ALWAYS SURPRISED AT WHAT PEOPLE DUMP ON THE STREET.

I saw this mystery machine dumped on the pavement. I have no idea what it might be or might have been.

A small crowd had gathered, and various theories materialised. One was that it was an ice cream maker. Another that it was a very small washing machine – perhaps a toy for a child.

I liked the idea that it was street art, but my companion reckoned it was an alien life-form ala The Daleks. What do you think?

The Missing Cheese Mystery

[Picture of Lidl Pizza]THE TRADES DESCRIPTIONS ACT HAS BEEN BREACHED HERE.

Look at the Picture (Click on it to enlarge). It was taken in Lidl. It shows a shelf of  “Trattoria Alfredo Quattro Formaggi Pizza”. It is clearly an Italian dish where quattro means four and formaggi means cheeses.  This is a four cheese pizza. One would expect the number of cheeses topping this pizza to be four different ones.

How much is it? Well, the shelf has the price of £1.99, but wait, it is described as only having Three cheeses. Somewhere along the line, a cheese has vanished!

Things are definitely getting worse when a cheese can disappear form a pizza on the local supermarket’s shelves!

Bearly-Believe-It

[Picture of Evil Build-a-Bear] I WAS IN A BUILD-A-BEAR SHOP RECENTLY, AND WAS GIVEN A FEW SURPRISES.

The first one to take my notice was a Build-a-Bear version of the evil genius, Darth Vader from Star Wars! Now I am not quite sure what it would mean for a child to select this bear from the others on offer. I may be an old fuddy-duddy, perhaps these days playing with the baddies is fashionable or popular.

Picture of a Wheelchair for a teddy bear]I then noticed that you could get your Build-a-Bear disabled! Yes; they do wheelchairs for the bears.

They also do spectacles and much more. It really is a revelation; I thought it was simply a shop that made and sold teddy bears and accessories.  Who knew?

It could be argued that a disabled child might like to have toys that were also disabled, but I am not so sure.[Picture of a teddy bear earing spectacles] I am not entirely convinced that able-bodied children would like to play with disabled toys, and if they were, it would certainly raise my eyebrows as much as if they wanted to cuddle up at night with Darth Vader. Call me old-fashioned, but I think things are still getting worse.

 

 

Police Parking

police_parkingIT IS ANNOYING THAT THE POLICE DO NOT OBEY THE LAW.

The police would quite happily arrest you if you broke the law, but they do it themselves all the time. I often see police cars park inappropriately (and even thoughtlessly).  They run traffic lights, cause all sorts of problems chasing boy racers.

They are never around when things turn violent; most of the time they seem to be strolling about ASDA buying cola and cakes. I wish I were joking; I cannot think of a time I have been shopping in a supermarket that there hasn’t been at least four uniformed police wandering around, shopping for snacks.

The most annoying, though, for me, is parking on double yellow lines. They do it all the time. Every day, right outside Strathclyde Police HQ on Pitt Street, there are double yellow lines, cones and signs — and yet I have never walked past and it has been clear.

[Picture from Google Maps of Pitt Street Police HQ]There always seems to be a police car, an unmarked police car,  a van, or something else parked right outside — and as far as I can see, no tickets have been given, no fines paid, no fines paid, and no vehicle towed away. Ever.

In fact, if you go to Google maps and look at the street view, there are police bikes right outside the front door!

It is bad enough when police flaunt the rules of the road, but it takes it to another level to do it right outside police headquarters! Things are getting worse indeed.

Single Illnesses Only

[Picture of GP Notice 1 condition at a time]THE LATEST NHS RULE SEEMS TO BE THAT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ILLNESS AT A TIME.

This means that if you have two illnesses, you have to make two appointments and wait in the waiting room for each ailment.

This could be a problem for people who work — especially those who work for themselves, and more particularly, men; statistics show that men are less likely to visit the GP surgery than women.

I know men who work for themselves, who don’t want to bother the GP with “trifling” complaints, and who stock up ailments until matters reach the tipping point. In short, they visit the GP when they have collected a sufficient number of problems.

This is time management.  It is cost-effective for both the NHS and the patient.

But all that has changed. For each thing, patients now have to make a unique appointment, which lasts a maximum of ten minutes.

It used to be that a mother could visit the GP, discuss her baby’s problems, and have a personal issue raised at the same visit – while she’s sat there. This is no longer the case.

Things are definitely getting worse.

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