Holiday Puzzlers

[Picture of Travel Agents' window]I LOVE GOING ON HOLIDAY, BUT I HATE LOOKING FOR HOLIDAYS.

The websites are rubbish because they let you fill in forms online and then tell you that there is nothing — and you are left to wonder what particular thing was wrong — was it the dates or times? Perhaps it was the Airport (Glasgow? so you try Edinburgh, Pretwick, Newcastle and so on), was it the hotel or detination.  It is a nightmare of complexity!

Even the local travel agency in Shawlands is confusing.  Click on the picture to enlarge.  I took this picture in the window to illustrate the point that you look at two prices and cannot help but compare them.  It looks like Majorca for £229 versus Kos for £297 — but that is not true; Majorca is based on FOUR sharing, while Kos is based on TWO sharing.

Why can’t the website and cheap airlines be simpler and clearer?  Why can’t the adverts tell you the price of the holiday or individual price? It doesn’t seem to me to be beyond them.

 

Nice Dinner?

[Picture of wonderful dish on menu]A LOCAL CHINESE RESTAURANT HAS A MENU THAT STRUCK ME AS UNUSUAL, SO I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT HERE.

I noticed that there was a section of dishes headed “Wonderful Dishes”! However, it fails to describe the dishes sufficiently well for my taste, wonderful thought they no doubt are, these dishes could not really tempt me.

Please double click on the image to enlarge.

I then noticed that there was a section of dishes called “Wu Ming” – perhaps for women? What of Wanton Wu Ming? Who knows? I certainly don’t. I suppose photographs would have helped, all I know is that the people serving had English as a remote secondary language, and my enquiries bore no fruit (nor any forms of new Chinese food).

Things are getting worse when the local Chinese takeaway is a mystery!

Cat Milk

[Pic of catmilk]I AM OFTEN STOPPED IN MY TRACKS BY WHAT I FIND ON SHOP SHELVES.

I came across Cat Milk recently, and wondered (of course) if it were milk from a cat (or cats).  It is more likely to be milk for a cat (or cats), but still, the matter was never made clear. The picture of the cat did not help.

Either way, Cat Milk cannot really be a serious proposition; it is not in national newspapers nor is it on TV or radio adverts (to the best of my knowledge).

I fancied buying a bottle to try it on my cereal, but at the last minute decided against it because it does not have any celebrity endorsement.

Things are certainly getting worse when Cat Milk is a possibility, don’t you think?

Vended Viagra

[Photo of menhancer pills vending machine]I WAS SENT A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET’S GENTS’ TOILET.

It shows the fascia panel of a vending machine that sells a variety of condoms.  Double click on the picture to enlarge.  This shows “vended Viagra”, or an “herbal” equivalent, “Menhancer”. Two capsules of 500mg for four pounds.

Things are definitely getting worse when chaps feel the need to enhance their sexual performance using drugs obtained from a “Johnny Box” in a local supermarket!

Same Flat Syndrome

IN THE WINDOW OF ANY ESTATE AGENCY ARE PHOTOGRAPHS OF FLATS FOR SALE.

Things must be getting worse because every flat is decorated in the same style! Notice the pseudo traditional sanded floorboards, fireplaces, couches and plain walls.

Perhaps the television make-over shows are to blame for all this, but it was never like this in the past; I quite enjoyed viewing flats for sale and browsing estate agencies, and the variety in décor was exactly what made house hunting fun. Things are getting worse when we all live in the same flat, or aspire to sameness.

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