Speed Parking!

[PICTURE OF STUPID SPEED BUMP LOCATION]NO ONE LIKES SPEED BUMPS.

In an earlier post we explained why the council have used speed bumps (and things like extra traffic lights) to force drivers to use particular routes (such as the M77).

The Tantallon Road Traffic Calming Scheme (part of the M77 Corridor scheme) provided for speed humps because The Scottish Executive states “Road humps are the most effective traffic calming measure available for reducing speed. “

What can we say about a speed hump in a parking bay (double click on picture to enlarge).

Bizarre. Things are definitely getting worse when the council spend thousands of pounds of our council tax money on rubbish like this! I would dearly love to hear the official explanation of this silliness!

[PICTURE OF STUPID SPEED BUMP LOCATION] [PICTURE OF STUPID SPEED BUMP LOCATION]

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Jobcentreless

[Picture of JobCentrePlus poster sign asking to be saved]JOBS ARE GOING IN THE JOBCENTRE — HOW IRONIC!

Double click on the picture to enlarge.  The picture is a photograph of a poster sign stuck to the shop window frontage of the Shawlands Jobcentre — where people go to look for work.  It says:

“Jobcentre Plus is considering
closing this office and
delivering its services from
nearby Newlands office

“We welcome your views about what we
are planning to do.  The final decision has
not been made and your views would be
greatly appreciated.  If you wish to make
comment please write to:

“David Collie, District manager
Jobcentre Plus
Corunna House
39 Cadogan Street
Glasgow
G2 7SS

“or email
david.collie@jobcentreplus.gsi.gov.uk

“Jobcentreplus

“Part of the Department
for work and pensions”

It is patently obvious that they do not really want to close down the office and lose their jobs.  They want people to write (not call) a letter or e-mail in the vain hope that people will “demand” this office remain open.

Well, I for one will be writing and e-mailing to demand that this place be closed down as soon as possible and all the supercilious so-called civil servants be slung out on their fat, lazy arses to go look for real work in a real recession.  What do we need them for anyway?  Bank accounts and state benefits are automatic and computerised — as is looking for a job.

They don’t make calls for you, they don’t appraise, they don’t even have to write out the cards any more.  People just go in and look for a job themselves, using weird free-standing computer terminals.  Times have changed, let’s face facts.

On top of that, this old arcade has seen better days.  It needs knocked down and something else built in its place.  The more empty units we get, the more likely this will be to happen. The job centre “plus” needs to go!

This location has brought the arcade to its knees, to be honest.  It has attracted, over many years, the worst down-and-outs.  As a direct result, the shops in the immediate vicinity have turned into “unemployed world” — where one is surrounded by neds, druggies and smokers loitering outside the jobcentre, betting shop, arcade games shop, pound thrift shop and cheap pub. “Unemployment World” is really “Disny World”, as in: “disny work” or “disny gie a flying fork”.

Things are getting worse when they have to ask for support from these people. At the end of the day, it’s a bit like ecology in reverse.  We have built up this environment, and to remove the jobcentre might affect the migration patterns of neds, smokers and druggies!

I would urge everyone reading this to e-mail and write to demand closure NOW!

Lost Cockatoo

[Picture of a poster for a lost cockatiel]WE GET A LOT OF LOST CAT POSTERS, BUT THIS ONE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL.

A Lost cockatiel.  Yes, that’s right — a cockatiel! (Double Click on the picture to enlarge)

Now, I would imagine that quite a lot of people would have some trouble spelling “cockatiel” (not “cockateil”), let alone spotting one, so the poster spells “Cockatiel” twice, and uses a photograph.

As far as I am aware, a cockatiel belongs to the much-easier-to-spell cockatoo family, so I would have probably chosen “cockatoo” were I doing this poster, but fair enough, if you can cope with the spelling, then bully-for-you.

However, almost nothing else is correct!  It says, “If you have saw the cockatiel call…”  — which should obviously have been “If you have seen the cockatiel call…”.

The thing that made me laugh aloud was that instead of “Thank you so much”, it has: “Thinkyou so mach”.

I laughed again at the thought that they had actually corrected the poster using “Tippex (c)”, and left all the mistakes.  Priceless.

If people are going to the trouble of using digital photography, if they have computers and printers, and if they can check and correct, then how is it possible that the results can be so poor? If English is not your first language, it might be a good idea to have someone else proof-read your poster before you start to “Sellotape (c)” them to rusting lampposts all over Glasgow’s west end!

You are far more likely to see one of these posters flying about than the bird in question ( a wee bit of sticky tape is not really good enough for the purpose). Things are definitely getting worse!

Inconsiderate Car Parking

[Picture of a selfishly parked car blocking a service lane in Shawlands Glasgow]SOMETHING SHOULD BE DONE ABOUT INCONSIDERATE CAR PARKING.

In the photograph, the car is parked inconsiderately; it is blocking a service lane — which is not merely blocking access to rubbish and recycling bins, but also blocking emergency access to electrical, water, sewerage, and gas utilities, and to the fire service.

This may come as a surprise to our regular readers in consideration of all our posts on the subject of parking.

We here at GW see a difference between being considerate and being legal, and we back being considerate in the hope that restrictions get changed, and laws revised where required. It really is just a common sense approach. So it is just a fluke that the car parked in the above picture is both inconsiderate and illegal!

Being considerate is about thinking less about letter of the law, and more about people and health-and-safety.

You’ll know from older posts that I have no problem with cars parked up on the kerb to allow utility and emergency vehicles to use the roads.

When a car is parked up on the pavement, pedestrian pavement access may be restricted — but this is quite often the (partial) fault of the overgrown hedges or dumped rubbish.

In a traffic calmed area, filled with speed cameras, fences, one-ways, speed bumps and zebra crossings, pedestrians can move about a lot more safely than if the traffic was fast and heavy flowing.

That’s the compromise — we have reduced the amount of through traffic, reduced the speed of the traffic, insisted that rubbish be dumped on the pavement, allowed residential hedges to take up a large part of the pavement area, and let people away with dog fouling. This simply means pedestrians have to weave a bit through the obstacles of cars, hedges, dog mess and rubbish.

The alternative would be to allow “proper pedestrian pavement access“, meaning more restrictions and red tape — residential hedges would have to be regulated, dog-fouling enforced (CCTV?), rubbish would have to be dumped in back lanes again, and cars would have to be parked completely on the road — impeding emergency vehicle access, utility vehicles, delivery trucks and vans and so forth.

I think that this is why police and wardens turn a “blind eye” throughout  Shawlands, and quite right too!

Let’s face it; the high density of residents in block of flats means that emergency and utility vehicles must have access at all times.  The sheer number of resident means that car numbers will be high — and people need to park near their flats (they may be disabled, elderly, infirm or have shopping, babies and toddlers to contend with).

That’s why we can say that the car in the picture is in our opinion parked disgracefully, but that cars parked on pavements and between bollards is OK.

[Picture of Lane Obstruction due to car parking]

Tesco Torso

[Picture of Human Torso Toy]TOYS ARE GETTING GRUESOME INDEED!

As Christmas is fast approaching I took a wander round my Local Tesco’s toy department, which always manages to amaze and amuse me.  Lo and behold, this week’s treat is the toy of choice for the mass-murderer-in-the-making — a Tesco Torso Toy!  How marvelous! The Human Torso in full colour and to perfect scale!

Must be wonderful for the kids to pretend to do their wee post-mortems (aw, how CUTE), and just see how they learn dissection, surgery and butchery.  Aw.

Things are getting worse indeed! I can just imagine Christmas Morning when that one gets opened.  “Gee; thanks… I think!”

Other Tesco related goodies from this site…

Pollok or Pollock?

[Picture of shop sign]POLLOCKSHAWS ROAD OR POLLOKSHAWS ROAD?

If you are going to the trouble of having a sign made, it would make sense to check the spelling.  It seems strange to me that a shop would not know it’s own address. It’s “Mega amusing” that they got it wrong!

Yes, things are getting worse. Click on the picture to enlarge.

For the record, the road is “Pollokshaws Road” — no “C” — after Pollok house, Pollok Park, Pollok Estate, Pollokshields and so forth.

Maybe the people behind the removal of Shawlands are also behind the new spelling of adjacent areas.

More spelling related treats from this site…

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