Paris Seine

[Photo of mislabelled baguettes]THIS WAS SPOTTED IN A LOCAL GLASGOW CO-OP.

Click on the image to enlarge.

It’s a basket of Bread. Baguettes or French sticks.  However, the co-op is trying to compete with M&S and sell fancy food from around the world.

This must be the idea behind the label, it states:

Parisien baguette

Clearly, they meant the baguette to be from Paris, in which case it ought to have been labelled, Parisienne Baguette.

Things are getting worse when shops try to be cosmopolitan and fail, despite having Google available.

Glasgow Crime Poster

[Photo of police poster]THIS POSTER WAS SPOTTED OUTSIDE CROSSMYLOOF RAILWAY STATION IN SHAWLANDS.

It states:

“3691
fewer victims of common assault”

I don’t know about you, but this poster troubled me.

First of all, why are the police paying for advertising posters like this? Is this a good use of financial resources? Perhaps, as a result of the suggested drop in criminal activity, the police have the time and money for this project?

It then begs the question, why are there fewer victims? The police deal with assault, rather than with the reasons for assault, so they cannot be given credit for lower crime, however, the poster carries the  suggestion that the Police have had some positive effect, that the police in some way are responsible for the drop in this crime figure, when such a notion is utterly preposterous.

This leads to the next question: are there fewer victims of common assault because of a drop in reported assaults, a change in the definition of common assault or victim, or a change in reporting period?  What is the context, and what possible reasons – what lessons can we learn? The poster is an insult to the intelligence.

We’re not especially au fait with Scots Law, so the term, common assault, suggests that there could well be other kinds of assault (although I don’t know what they are, nor if they exist), perhaps the figures have been manipulated such that the 3691, or a portion thereof, has been taken from the common assault category and simply moved to another category, or other categories, of assault.

I have a problem too with the number given.  It is not a percentage, it is an extremely precise (not rounded up or down) figure, 3691.

What does this number mean? Fewer than what and when? 3691 fewer than last week? Last year? what?

Finally, if the poster is not pro-Police, but simply to make Glaswegians happier or to feel safer, it fails miserably because 3691 is a massive number — and yet it is not the number of common assaults, it is merely the variation!  If 3691 is the drop, what on earth is the actual number of common assaults?  Having a drop of 3691 implies that common assaults must be many times greater than this figure.  One ought to immediately begin to take care as assault is very likely imminent.

I must say that it would not be much of a comfort to visitors to the city. Poor tourists! Mind you, they ought to have heard about Glasgow’s violent reputation before coming, from sites such as this. Or this.

Things are getting worse when Police put up posters to scare or con an unsuspecting public.

Mystery Machine

[Photo of mystery machine]I AM ALWAYS SURPRISED AT WHAT PEOPLE DUMP ON THE STREET.

I saw this mystery machine dumped on the pavement. I have no idea what it might be or might have been.

A small crowd had gathered, and various theories materialised. One was that it was an ice cream maker. Another that it was a very small washing machine – perhaps a toy for a child.

I liked the idea that it was street art, but my companion reckoned it was an alien life-form ala The Daleks. What do you think?

Heterosexual Pants

[Photograph of label inside pair of jeans]HETEROSEXUAL TROUSERS FOR SALE?

These were spotted in a local Tesco store. They are clearly labelled as not being suitable for homosexual men.

It is perhaps nice to know that straight men can now begin to dress better on a budget.

The Missing Cheese Mystery

[Picture of Lidl Pizza]THE TRADES DESCRIPTIONS ACT HAS BEEN BREACHED HERE.

Look at the Picture (Click on it to enlarge). It was taken in Lidl. It shows a shelf of  “Trattoria Alfredo Quattro Formaggi Pizza”. It is clearly an Italian dish where quattro means four and formaggi means cheeses.  This is a four cheese pizza. One would expect the number of cheeses topping this pizza to be four different ones.

How much is it? Well, the shelf has the price of £1.99, but wait, it is described as only having Three cheeses. Somewhere along the line, a cheese has vanished!

Things are definitely getting worse when a cheese can disappear form a pizza on the local supermarket’s shelves!

The Nutella Diet?

[Picture of duty-free nutella weekly packs]ON RETURNING FROM MY HOLIDAYS, I BROWSED THE DUTY-FREE SHOP.

I was surprised to see something called a “weekly pack” of seven jars of Nutella.

Yes. Seven jars – that’s one-a-day! A whole tub of Nutella EVERY DAY. Seriously.

We joked that this could be known as the Rhianna diet – Nutella, ella, ella, e, e, e, e…

Happy New Year for 2013 from GW, let’s hope it won’t be as nutty as 2012.

Coleslaw Overkill

[Picture of tesco aisle - coleslaw]WE WERE GRATEFUL TO RECEIVE A PHOTOGRAPH BY E-MAIL OF A TESCO SUPERMARKET AISLE SIGN.

It would seem from this picture (click pic to enlarge), that there is a LOT of coleslaw on aisle 5.

Ironically, there was NO coleslaw to be found on aisle 5, just green vegetables on one side and ready meals on the other.

Perhaps Tesco were anticipating a great demand for coleslaw this Christmas holidays?

Who knows… but Merry Christmas with or without it anyway!

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