Danger Pond!

A PLEASANT STROLL AROUND THE PONDS OF QUEEN’S PARK SEEMED LIKE A DELIGHTFUL IDEA UNTIL THIS SCARY SIGN WAS NOTICED.

[Double left click on the image to enlarge, as always]

The picture I took shows a pond with a sign sticking out of it.  The sign simply says:

“DANGER
BLUE
GREEN
ALGAE”

What on earth does that mean?  Will this Blue Green Algae rise up from the depths and grab us by the ankles to drag us off to the deep?

Perhaps it just means we have a slip hazard — that blue green algae is slippery. Thing is, I could not see anything slippery on the paths.

What the devil is Blue Green Algae? Is it a dust? a liquid?  A winged serpent? What ought I be looking out for?  Will it fall from the trees? will it run after us? Is it blue or green — or blue-green — or do they mean it is both blue and green (that both the blue and the green varieties are dangerous)?

Yes, things are getting worse when signs strike fear into English-speaking passers-by.

Council Cleaning Con

THE CITY COUNCIL ALWAYS AMAZES ME BY THEIR SHIRKING OF RESPONSIBILITY.

Take this poster for example.  Double left click on the image to enlarge.

This is a poster in a charity chop window on Kilmarnock Rd (which is the main street in Shawlands). It is about so-called “Community cleaning of a lane”.

Yes, it is advertising the fact that the council wants local residents to clean their own streets and lane.  Hey, isn’t that what we pay council tax for?

Things are getting worse when the council can take council tax from us, and then get us to do the work ourselves! How Bizarre!

GP Scared of Swine Flu

I WAS SURPRISED TO COME ACROSS THIS NOTICE IN THE WINDOW OF THE MAIN GP SURGERY IN SHAWLANDS.

Double click on the picture to enlarge.

However, in case you cannot see the image properly, it states:

“SWINE FLU

IF YOU THINK YOU
MAY HAVE THE SWINE
FLU PLEASE DO NOT
COME INTO THE
SURGERY. GO HOME
AND CALL US AND WE
WILL ASK A GP OR
NURSE TO CALL YOU BACK.”

Boy is this GP scared of swine flu — he or she is not taking any chances — in case “the swine flu” (sic) can be transmitted by telephone, a nurse may call you.

Things are getting worse when a medical diagnosis is done over the telephone, and even worse when it may be done by a nurse!

• If you’re getting worse, you’re getting nurse. (apologies; I couldn’t resist that bad joke).

Now, the television and wireless have been keeping me bang up to date on the swine flu topic, and I have to say that I have been confident and reassured as a result.  That is until now.

When I saw this notice on the main road in Shawlands, I began to get scared for the first time. Things must be getting worse when the doctors are so frightened by it!

Fitting Advert

COMPANY IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.

On this site we often point out public signs that have errors.  This is because we feel that public signs, menus, notices and so forth should be checked for simple mistakes.

However, a company image goes beyond spelling and grammar, which is why we have shown some dubious logos (such as “Don’t Be Alarmed“).

Now, imagine a company that has only three main features (selling points) … (1) a van, (2) the spacial skills to know if and how things will fit ahead of time, and (3) how much care and attention to detail you have.

Imagine the livery of the van — what message would you be trying to get across?

You would probably want a van that looks clean, well-cared-for, professional, sturdy and which advertises with an office address, perhaps a logo, and a tag line.

Well, imagine now what we thought when we saw this van recently (see picture — click to enlarge).

Yes, things are getting worse when they cannot see ahead, when they cannot fit all the letters of the word across the van!

Shawlands Fried Chicken

BLATANT CASHING IN — DON’T WE ALL LOVE IT?

I was quite struck by this poster in a local shop window.

It reminded me of something, but I could not for the life of me remember what it was.

On further reflection, I realised that it was still a chicken-based deep-fried product… Hmmm:

• SFC.
• Fried Chicken.
• Red and white stripes.
• Secret herbs and spices.

But what I am thinking of is not SFC, but something else. Nope. I just cannot think what this reminds me of! Things must be getting worse!

Big Pupils

MY EYES GREW LARGE IN DISBELIEF WHEN  I SPOTTED THIS CHILDREN’S LUNCH MENU IN A LOCAL SHOP.

No wonder kids are fat these days!

• 1/2 pizza (deep fried) and chips
• sausage and chips
• popcorn chicken and chips
• chips
• roll and chips
• chips and curry
• chips and gravy
• chips and cheese
• fritters
• roll and fritters

Deep fried fat hell is on the school menu! Not a green vegetable, not a meat (except from chicken and sausage), just deep fried fatty potatoes basically!

Things are getting worse when shops are able to target school children in this way.

Poor Barry

POOR BARRY – WHOEVER HE IS!

I was strolling through Shawlands the other day and saw that the newsagents — Barry’s — had an unusual way of informing people of Barry’s situation or whereabouts.  As I had my camera with me, I could not resist taking the picture for you all to enjoy. Click on the image to enlarge.

Things are getting worse when a post-it note won’t do.

World Famous

DOES THE TRADES DESCRIPTION ACT COVER THIS LOCAL SHOP SIGN?

It says:

“HOWARD’S
QUALITY BUTCHERS

WORLD FAMOUS STEAK PIES AND SAUSAGES”

Can Howard really get away with this?  World famous sausages? Seriously?

If I travelled to France or Australia and asked a random person on the street if they had heard of Howard’s of Shawlands and his world famous pies, what do you think the answer would be?

Yep.  Things are getting worse when bizarre claims are made on shop signs!  Come on; we can do better than that, surely!

Flat Bottles

I WAS AMAZED AT THIS SIGN — STUCK TO A GLASS RECYCLING BIN.

It says:

“Please wash your bottles, remove all caps and lids and FLATTEN them when possible”

Are they serious? Flattening clear glass bottles?  I wish I had brought my hammer!

I understand the idea behind recycling, but I cannot fathom the rest of  it all.  For a start, these bins are an eye-sore.  The public seem to use them to recycle glass, but they then leave their plastic bags and boxes everywhere — what a mess.  Throwing bottles in is noisy, it is dirty and inaccessible.

On top of all that, some bins are for all glass — regardless of colour!  I have never seen anyone wash off the labels and remove caps — I do wonder what happens to it when it is so contaminated.  Is it all just an elaborate hoax or something?

Pot Luck on Roads

THE ROADS ARE IN A DREADFUL STATE.

However, it seems that the council’s new LLCs would rather spend our tax-quids on speed cameras and speed humps in parking bays than fix the pot holes!

It is no exaggeration, and there is often no opportunity to avoid driving into them because of cars parked either side of the road.

These photographs were taken at the Battlefield monument right outside the Victoria Infirmary (one of the two southside hospitals in Glasgow city).  I pity the occupants of ambulances that have to deal with these pot holes on a daily basis!

Mind you, according to a news story I read, the repairs are never done very well. It’s all one big money-spinning racket. We’re going to pot (holes) — and, yes, things are still getting worse!