Ma Sleeping Bag

I WAS SURPRISED TO DISCOVER A SUPERMARKET SHELF FULL OF MUMMY SLEEPING BAGS.

Poor old Mum! I thought. For the life of me, I couldn’t find a daddy Sleeping bag area.

Things are getting worse when mothers get their own range of sleeping bags — and indeed, Tesco Value sleeping bags at that. Let’s hope mums don’t have to use them this Christmas!

Purple (TM)

WE WERE SENT THIS AMAZING PICTURE OF SOME PACKAGING.

The packaging is coloured purple, and there is a small statement:

“The Color PURPLE is a trademark of 3M”

Can this be true? Do they own that film by Speilberg that had Whoopie in it? Do they own rights to Price’s Purple Rain?

Things are getting worse when a company can trademark a colour!

Is using Purple piracy? A copyright infringement? Downright theft?

The World is Scary

WITH HALLOWEEN COMING UP, I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE SOME PICTURES SENT TO US.

We do not usually do this as there are plenty of websites out there that do this sort of thing so much better. However, rules have exceptions, and this year ours are as follows:

First of all is a set of small screwdrivers.  Even given the fact that they may be made in a  non-English-speaking environment, the declaration defies a logical mistranslation-based explanation.

NOT TO BE INSERTED INTO PENIS

That is (always) good advice.

The second one caught my eye, because we are not supposed to use the word “Disabled”, so — for example, a disabled toilet is now to be known as an “accessible toilet”.

This sort of thing will surely play havoc with translations in years to come. In our next picture, we have “Deformed Person”.

The final one is the old favourite — public notices that have bad grammar or poor spelling.

What makes this one funnier is that it is black people in the USA with protest boards upon which they make reference to Martin Luther King Jr’s famous “I have a Dream” speech.

Dr King wanted black people to be educated equally with whites.  As the picture taken of a TV screen shows, black people in America are now just as badly educated as white folks.  They cannot even spell the word, DREAM on placards used in a public and televised protest. Ironic.

Things may be getting worse round here, but the world out there is a scary place too. Happy Halloween!

 

New Chocolate Marketing

IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET I WAS SURPRISED BY THE NEW CHOCOLATE MARKETING APPROACH.

I couldn’t help myself from taking a snap on my cameraphone. Click on image to enlarge.

The top shelf, from the left has:

• Emergency Chocolate
• Bochox
• Girth Control
• 50% hers (Marital Bliss Bar)

They have got the packaging spot on, making the Bochox look like Botox, and I have to say, it made me laugh.

But then, things are getting worse when we need to find a way to sell us chocolate! Is it really necessary?

Elephant Saving Kitchen Paper

I WAS STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS BY THE CLAIMS ON THIS PRODUCT IN MY LOCAL SUPERMARKET.

It states that — by simply buying their kitchen roll — you could save African Elephants!

No one wants to harm African elephants, which is (by implication) what you would be doing by either buying some other brand of kitchen roll, or simply by not buying this Thirst Pockets brand of kitchen roll.

Things are getting bad when the future of African elephants lies in the balance and depends on you  and your shopping decisions.

Nice Dinner?

A LOCAL CHINESE RESTAURANT HAS A MENU THAT STRUCK ME AS UNUSUAL, SO I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT HERE.

I noticed that there was a section of dishes headed “Wonderful Dishes”! However, it fails to describe the dishes sufficiently well for my taste, wonderful thought they no doubt are, these dishes could not really tempt me.

Please double click on the image to enlarge.

I then noticed that there was a section of dishes called “Wu Ming” – perhaps for women? What of Wanton Wu Ming? Who knows? I certainly don’t. I suppose photographs would have helped, all I know is that the people serving had English as a remote secondary language, and my enquiries bore no fruit (nor any forms of new Chinese food).

Things are getting worse when the local Chinese takeaway is a mystery!

Scary Fairy

ADVERTISING, MARKETING AND PACKAGING ARE KNOWN TO BE SUBTLE AND SOPHISTICATED MANIPULATORS OF THE MIND.

I wonder what team of ad men came up with the latest Fairy tag-line:

“BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY”.

Let’s pause a moment to think on this… Fairy…. soap… behind you all the way… pomegranite… honeysuckle…

Perhaps the target market for washing up dishes would not be affected subliminally by all this.  One wonders if “real men” did do dishes what would happen.  This could be a plot, a cunning subversive plan to undermine the fabric of our society.  Things are getting worse when we can allow such an attack on our way of life.

Authentic Italiano?

WHILE PASSING A CITY CENTRE ITALIAN RESTAURANT, I WAS SURPRISED TO NOTICE INCORRECT ITALIAN ON A PROMINENT SIGN.

The hand-written blackboard sign states: “BON GIORNO” — How odd! This is not Italian!

The Italian for “Good Morning” is “BUONGIORNO” as anyone with an internet connection can quickly check (please double click on image to enlarge):

One would imagine that any business would (or should) proof-read public signs and notices, but when your business is trying to make out that it is “authentic” or genuinely Italian, getting right the only thing written in Italian would be even more important. Sempre più catastrofici!

Spotted What?

ONCE AGAIN, THE STOCK IN A LOCAL SHOP CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

The last time I was in, I spotted Cream Pies, and was immediately transported back to a special time and place. This time they had the rather delicious-sounding Goblin Spotted Dick. Please double click on the image to see an enlargement of the display.

I can’t tell you the last time I had Goblin Spotted Dick on my menu, but I can tell you what’s going down tonight.

Deep Fried Proles

THE GLASWEGIAN DIET IS FAMOUS FOR DEEP FRYING EVERYTHING.

Probably the most disgusting example is the Deep Fried Mars Bar.  No wonder we have such a bad health record. I noticed a cheap electric stainless steel counter-top deep fat fryer in a local shop the other day.

“Turn on for style” is the tag-line. Yeah, right.

Click on the image to obtain a larger view.

Can you see the brand name.  It is “Prolex”, but the way it is shown, it definitely looks like “Prole” is quite distinct from the St Andrew’s Cross. Yes, this is is aimed at the Proles who live in Scotland.

Things are getting worse when being common/ working class is actively marketed.  This is basically saying, “You are poor, eat chips and fry your Mars bars at home”.