Danger Pond!

A PLEASANT STROLL AROUND THE PONDS OF QUEEN’S PARK SEEMED LIKE A DELIGHTFUL IDEA UNTIL THIS SCARY SIGN WAS NOTICED.

[Double left click on the image to enlarge, as always]

The picture I took shows a pond with a sign sticking out of it.  The sign simply says:

“DANGER
BLUE
GREEN
ALGAE”

What on earth does that mean?  Will this Blue Green Algae rise up from the depths and grab us by the ankles to drag us off to the deep?

Perhaps it just means we have a slip hazard — that blue green algae is slippery. Thing is, I could not see anything slippery on the paths.

What the devil is Blue Green Algae? Is it a dust? a liquid?  A winged serpent? What ought I be looking out for?  Will it fall from the trees? will it run after us? Is it blue or green — or blue-green — or do they mean it is both blue and green (that both the blue and the green varieties are dangerous)?

Yes, things are getting worse when signs strike fear into English-speaking passers-by.

Lidl Logic

I WAS AMAZED AT A POSTER FOR LAMPS  SPOTTED IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET.

Double left click on the image to enlarge — as ever

In case you cannot see the picture, it states:

Philips
Energy Saving
Light Bulb
* Bayonet Cap
*Screw Cap
49p each.

Under this, on a yellow background, it states:

5 for 50p

Now, this is pretty amazing when you stop to think about it; one costs 49p, but FIVE  costs just ONE PENNY more!  Who on Earth would ever buy just one?

Things are getting worse when a shop will allow someone to buy a single lamp at a comparatively extortionate price — why couldn’t the shop just sell the lamps for 10p each and be done with it? People who just need one could buy just one, and people who want 5 could get 5, and everyone pays the same price. It’s not rocket science.

Council Cleaning Con

THE CITY COUNCIL ALWAYS AMAZES ME BY THEIR SHIRKING OF RESPONSIBILITY.

Take this poster for example.  Double left click on the image to enlarge.

This is a poster in a charity chop window on Kilmarnock Rd (which is the main street in Shawlands). It is about so-called “Community cleaning of a lane”.

Yes, it is advertising the fact that the council wants local residents to clean their own streets and lane.  Hey, isn’t that what we pay council tax for?

Things are getting worse when the council can take council tax from us, and then get us to do the work ourselves! How Bizarre!

Guttered

THE COUNCIL ARE SPENDING MILLIONS INSULATING COUNCIL HOUSES.

The trouble is that they are not doing a very good job where the council property meets a privately owned property as shown in the picture to the right.

As ever, double left click on pictures to enlarge.

The above picture shows that it is not confined to new meeting old — even when dealing with a new-new interface, they have screwed this up! What you are looking at are two examples of stupidity.  The rainwater gutter could have been trimmed shorter to allow a full and proper rendering, but instead, the full original length was allowed to remain unchanged, and the insulation and new rendering cut around it!

This is completely unbelievable, it creates a heat bridge and one of the most likely sources of damp in a building I have ever seen. Things are certainly getting worse!

Tree Trunk Calls

WHEN A BOX FULL OF WIRES IS INVADED BY VEGETATION, MAINTENANCE IS REQUIRED.

Click on the picture to enlarge the photograph, you will see that this box of wires has been maintained — by painting the plant the same colour as the box! Notice too that the plant has been pruned!

This is incredible, so strong is the vegetation, that the doors have been burst open.  Heaven knows how the telephones work in this area of Glasgow City.

Things are definitely getting worse when people simply try to paint out growing problems that ought to have been nipped in the bud.

Handy?

DO YOU ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU VISIT THE TOILET?

Some people do, and some don’t.  It is difficult to wash hands when basins have no rubber bungs, no soap, and no hot water.  If there is no bung, you can only wash one hand at a time because the other hand is invariably holding down the tap.

Next on the list is drying.  I see so many guys leaving Gents’ toilets rubbing their damp hands down their trousers!

Paper towels are good, but messy (and can run out).  Hand dryers are popular, but they are noisy and people have to queue to use them (hence the impatient trouser-wipers).

It seems that the trouser-wipers are actually onto something, from a “saving-the-planet” viewpoint, as evidenced by the photograph here (just click on the image to enlarge). It states:

“We’ve given the
thumbs up to energy
saving hand dryers.
These hand dryers work faster and save
80% of the energy used by traditional dryers.
Plan A”

Things are definitely getting worse when there are no dryers and no towels and as we wipe on our denims we can read the stupid sign and feel that we’re “doing our bit” to save Earth. By the way, the 20% energy rating must be down to the trouser-wipe!

Vegetarian Chicken?

CHICKEN — THE VEGETARIAN OPTION.

Really!

We were sent this snapshot of a menu from America [click picture to enlarge]. It states:

“SPINACH CHICKEN
Grilled Chicken Breast with sautéed spinach,
mushrooms, onions, melted jack cheese, & topped
with Poblano cream sauce, served with rice.
Excellent for Vegetarians!!! $8.99″

Flat Bottles

I WAS AMAZED AT THIS SIGN — STUCK TO A GLASS RECYCLING BIN.

It says:

“Please wash your bottles, remove all caps and lids and FLATTEN them when possible”

Are they serious? Flattening clear glass bottles?  I wish I had brought my hammer!

I understand the idea behind recycling, but I cannot fathom the rest of  it all.  For a start, these bins are an eye-sore.  The public seem to use them to recycle glass, but they then leave their plastic bags and boxes everywhere — what a mess.  Throwing bottles in is noisy, it is dirty and inaccessible.

On top of all that, some bins are for all glass — regardless of colour!  I have never seen anyone wash off the labels and remove caps — I do wonder what happens to it when it is so contaminated.  Is it all just an elaborate hoax or something?

Packaging Ironic

WE WERE SENT THIS PICTURE BY E-MAIL RECENTLY, AND THOUGHT IT QUITE IRONIC.

What do you think?

If you double click on the image, it will enlarge — it shows a device that helps you open stubborn hard plastic sealed packing — but the device itself comes in stubborn hard plastic sealed packaging!

Are things getting worse, or is this an attempt to be “funny”?

Spin The Bottle?

SPIN THE BOTTLE IS A RISQUÉ ACTIVITY USUALLY DISCOVERED IN THE WHITE HEAT OF ADOLESCENCE.

The idea is to drink some alcohol, then use the empty bottle in a game.  Everyone forms a circle and the bottle is laid down and spun.  It eventually comes to rest pointing at someone.  This is the selection process.  What happens next depends on all sorts of things — use your imagination; it’s an alcohol and hormone driven game of chance!

The first thing that occurred to me when I came across this “game” in a toy shop, was that it was too risqué for kids.  Then I  realised that it taught them the game, that it “formalised” it.

Things are getting worse when people can even think of buying such a thing — think people! All you need to play this game is some imagination and a bottle –there is NO NEED TO BUY A SPECIAL “SPIN THE BOTTLE” BOTTLE!

Good grief!