Council Cleaning Con

THE CITY COUNCIL ALWAYS AMAZES ME BY THEIR SHIRKING OF RESPONSIBILITY.

Take this poster for example.  Double left click on the image to enlarge.

This is a poster in a charity chop window on Kilmarnock Rd (which is the main street in Shawlands). It is about so-called “Community cleaning of a lane”.

Yes, it is advertising the fact that the council wants local residents to clean their own streets and lane.  Hey, isn’t that what we pay council tax for?

Things are getting worse when the council can take council tax from us, and then get us to do the work ourselves! How Bizarre!

GP Scared of Swine Flu

I WAS SURPRISED TO COME ACROSS THIS NOTICE IN THE WINDOW OF THE MAIN GP SURGERY IN SHAWLANDS.

Double click on the picture to enlarge.

However, in case you cannot see the image properly, it states:

“SWINE FLU

IF YOU THINK YOU
MAY HAVE THE SWINE
FLU PLEASE DO NOT
COME INTO THE
SURGERY. GO HOME
AND CALL US AND WE
WILL ASK A GP OR
NURSE TO CALL YOU BACK.”

Boy is this GP scared of swine flu — he or she is not taking any chances — in case “the swine flu” (sic) can be transmitted by telephone, a nurse may call you.

Things are getting worse when a medical diagnosis is done over the telephone, and even worse when it may be done by a nurse!

• If you’re getting worse, you’re getting nurse. (apologies; I couldn’t resist that bad joke).

Now, the television and wireless have been keeping me bang up to date on the swine flu topic, and I have to say that I have been confident and reassured as a result.  That is until now.

When I saw this notice on the main road in Shawlands, I began to get scared for the first time. Things must be getting worse when the doctors are so frightened by it!

Hospital Parking

HOSPITAL PARKING WAS A POLITICAL HOT POTATO. IT’S NOW FREE.

However, things are getting worse when the signs are so confusing!

Click on Picture to Enlarge.

It says –

“New Parking Arrangements
From 31st December 2008
*No car parking charges
*Unauthorised Car parking
Notices in Force
MAXIMUM STAY
4 HOURS
(Monday to Friday)
Exemptions for patients and visitors”

Now, I don’t know about you, but “free car parking at all Scottish Hospitals” seems easy to understand. “No Car Parking Charges” pretty much covers that.

So — what’s this about a 4 hour maximum stay?

Now, there is a suggestion that this 4 hour maximum is flexible if you are a patient or visitor (i.e. almost everyone), only nurses and doctors will be getting tickets then. Weird!

What confused me the most was the “Unauthorised Parking Notices in Force” — what exactly does that mean — unless parking is “authorised” in the first place, it is meaningless.

Last Bus Unknown

SOME OTHER BUS COMPANY WILL BE WORKING THIS ROUTE SOMETIMES, BUT WE’RE NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHO IT IS –  JUST THAT IT ‘AIN’T US, SO THERE!

That is basically what the following notice is about (please double click on the image to see it enlarged).

This is what it states:

First transforming travel CUSTOMER NOTICE Service 121 Govan – Victoria Infirmary From Friday 7 November a revised timetable will operate on service 121 as a result of changes to the SPT tender. First Glasgow will continue to operate the service during the day Monday to Saturday. In the early morning, evening and all day Sundays another operator will run service 121. Please call Strathclyde Partnership for Transport on 0845 271 2405 for details of the service at these times. For further information visit www.firstgroup.com/glasgow or call Customer Services on 0141 423 6600 for more details.

It is beyond me why they couldn’t put all the information on the notice — we have just enough information to make a phone call or visit a website — hey, yeah, thanks for that guys!

Just in time for Christmas office parties, when people will be leaving their cars and relying on public transport!

Things are getting worse when routes are carved up like this anyway — everyone loses the plot.  Will the new operator be using the usual 121 bustops (the First Glasgow stops)? Will the timetable remain, or will it change for the better or worse?  What about fares?  Will bus passes, travel passes and cards still work?

What a mess — and we didn’t even see it coming (bit like the bus service itself)!

Scandalous: Council Secret Sell offs!

“DIRECT AND CARE” IS AN ANNOYING NAME FOR A COUNCIL DEPARTMENT BUT IT IS NO LONGER!

When I poked fun at “Direct and Care“ on this site, little did I know it really did have a bad name.  Not just that it was badly named, but that it was causing all sorts of financial trouble for the council.

I checked the City’s website this morning, and was surprised to see an entry dated a few days ago (31 October 2008 to be exact) regarding “Direct and Care”.

• www.glasgow.gov.uk/en/News/DirectCareLLP.htm

This is an amazing tale, and it demands your attention for a host of good reasons, not least of which is that almost no-one knows anything about what is going on!

Here’s the deal: “Direct and Care” grew to be one of the biggest council departments, with a staff of about 8000 civil servants.

Now, as you can imagine, all City councils are legally obliged — and committed — to meet financial targets set by the main government.

Back in June 2007, it was noticed that the so-called “Significant Trading Operations” (or “STOs”) of Glasgow’s “Direct and Care” department was in bad shape. Even their targets were to be met over a three year period, they were not on track to do this, they were heading for disaster!

So what to do?

The Executive Committee immediately asked for a “review” — they needed suggestions, ideas, and most of all, they needed answers — and fast.  They needed to get out of this hole — somehow.

So with Grant Thornton and Burness solicitors, a review of different options for getting out of trouble was produced.

The option that was decided upon was to privatise the department — something they had done before with “City Building”, “Culture and Sport Glasgow”, and “Glasgow Community and Safety Services”.  The council’s website puts it like this:

“Members of the Council’s Executive Committee today (Friday, 31 October 2008) approved a business plan to turn the department into the Council’s latest arm’s-length company…

The move means Direct and Care will have more opportunity to grow as a business by targeting the external market and should become more competitive in the longer term.”

Basically, there was no way this department was going to toe-the-line financially.  It was a huge money-pit.  There was no way the department would match the cheaper costs in the private sector — but they couldn’t just sack everyone, close down the department and put the workload out to competitive private tender. The City Leader, Steven Purcell said:

“If no action was taken by the Council it’s likely that we may have had to put these services out to competition, and winning contracts would be very difficult.”

Not one civil servant is made redundant, and the newly formed company will continue to provide the expensive and inefficient services we have come to expect — it’s just that because they are no longer aprt of the council, the targets are avoided and the council’s legal obligation evaporates!

Amusingly, the “business plan” produced as part of the review shows the new company becoming profitable in it’s FIRST year! It did not explain why it could not become profitable when run as a council department!

The company formed is a limited liability partnership, so if anything goes horribly wrong, the damage (liability) to the council will be limited — the council being in partnership with the private company — in that it provides work and money for the company but doesn’t take profits!

Things are getting worse when councils can do such significant things without asking the people who voted them into office and who pay for it all.

Things are getting worse when a loss-making department is turned into a loss-making company when the best way to serve the people would be to (a) run the departments better, or else (b) scrap everything and get quotes — the private companies quoting would obviously be unable to meet the sudden demand, so they would naturally have to employ experienced and qualified people — in other words, those who used to do the job for the council department.

This would separate the wheat from the chaff, and we’d get the best people for the best money, but no, we’ve got the wrost people for the worst money — and the government mechanism put in place to make councils more cost-effective has been by-passed.

Taxi “Enforcer”

TAXI AND PRIVATE HIRE ENFORCEMENT UNIT — YES, THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS ON THE VAN.

I saw a Glasgow City Council Taxi and Private Hire Enforcement Unit van today, and just had to take a photograph of it; no-one would believe me if I didn’t have evidence to back up the existence of this council-tax paid council department.

What on earth is going on with Glasgow City — are they all mad? If you can remember our post on the obscure department called “Direct and Care“, then it will come as no surprise that there exists a Taxi Enforcer!

Yes, things are getting worse! Oh, and enjoy the fireworks and bonfire at Glasgow Green tomorrow (everywhere else in the UK celebrations are tonight, but Glasgow is doing it tomorrow because Celtic and playing a game of football tonight in the city — maybe the council is touchy about celebrating the burning of a Roman Catholic [Guy Fawkes] on the night of a Celtic match)!

Speed Parking!

NO ONE LIKES SPEED BUMPS.

In an earlier post we explained why the council have used speed bumps (and things like extra traffic lights) to force drivers to use particular routes (such as the M77).

The Tantallon Road Traffic Calming Scheme (part of the M77 Corridor scheme) provided for speed humps because The Scottish Executive states “Road humps are the most effective traffic calming measure available for reducing speed. “

What can we say about a speed hump in a parking bay (double click on picture to enlarge).

Bizarre. Things are definitely getting worse when the council spend thousands of pounds of our council tax money on rubbish like this! I would dearly love to hear the official explanation of this silliness!

Jobcentreless

JOBS ARE GOING IN THE JOBCENTRE — HOW IRONIC!

Double click on the picture to enlarge.  The picture is a photograph of a poster sign stuck to the shop window frontage of the Shawlands Jobcentre — where people go to look for work.  It says:

“Jobcentre Plus is considering
closing this office and
delivering its services from
nearby Newlands office

“We welcome your views about what we
are planning to do.  The final decision has
not been made and your views would be
greatly appreciated.  If you wish to make
comment please write to:

“David Collie, District manager
Jobcentre Plus
Corunna House
39 Cadogan Street
Glasgow
G2 7SS

“or email
david.collie@jobcentreplus.gsi.gov.uk

“Jobcentreplus

“Part of the Department
for work and pensions”

It is patently obvious that they do not really want to close down the office and lose their jobs.  They want people to write (not call) a letter or e-mail in the vain hope that people will “demand” this office remain open.

Well, I for one will be writing and e-mailing to demand that this place be closed down as soon as possible and all the supercilious so-called civil servants be slung out on their fat, lazy arses to go look for real work in a real recession.  What do we need them for anyway?  Bank accounts and state benefits are automatic and computerised — as is looking for a job.

They don’t make calls for you, they don’t appraise, they don’t even have to write out the cards any more.  People just go in and look for a job themselves, using weird free-standing computer terminals.  Times have changed, let’s face facts.

On top of that, this old arcade has seen better days.  It needs knocked down and something else built in its place.  The more empty units we get, the more likely this will be to happen. The job centre “plus” needs to go!

This location has brought the arcade to its knees, to be honest.  It has attracted, over many years, the worst down-and-outs.  As a direct result, the shops in the immediate vicinity have turned into “unemployed world” — where one is surrounded by neds, druggies and smokers loitering outside the jobcentre, betting shop, arcade games shop, pound thrift shop and cheap pub. “Unemployment World” is really “Disny World”, as in: “disny work” or “disny gie a flying fork”.

Things are getting worse when they have to ask for support from these people. At the end of the day, it’s a bit like ecology in reverse.  We have built up this environment, and to remove the jobcentre might affect the migration patterns of neds, smokers and druggies!

I would urge everyone reading this to e-mail and write to demand closure NOW!

Wise Up To Banks

POOR BANKERS.

Not so long ago we were occupied in hunting them down for their years of illegal and excessive charges and fees, and we got refunds galore until the pre-trial freeze.

Then some banks tried to be rotters — saying they would charge us to have a current account — while others tried to be warm and cuddly.

Now we have the credit crunch and the financial system is in turmoil!

So I thought it would be nice ot have a reminder of when (only a few months ago) some banks were trying to be customer friendly…

From a web site called Influx insights, an article on Barclay’s Bank showed that they were trying to rebrand to get rid of the old ways — and this even extended to language.

For example, instead of ATMs, they would use “Hole in the Wall”.

This was announced on the Barclay’s web site with their marketing director’s quote:

“Banks have for a long time come across as unfriendly simply by the way they communicate to customers. The chain on the pen sums up the relationship banks have had with their customers for too long — basically we don’t trust you to leave this pen behind after you use it, yet we expect you to entrust us with your life savings. It’s about time we redressed the balance and made ourselves part of the twenty first century – and a free pen is a small gesture to show customers we value their custom.”

“Equally we will be using language that everyone knows and understands. Instead of having signs saying ‘Customer Service’, we will be replacing them with ones that simply say ‘Can I Help’. That awful acronym ATM will also go, to be replaced by words like ‘Hole in the Wall’, after all I don’t know anyone in Manchester who goes to an ATM to get money out, but I know a fair few who pop off to the Hole in the Wall. Overall, this use of simple, accessible language will complement our main work which involves offering great value for money to our customers.”

Ah, pity we have the present problem.

While we are on the topic, what ought we to do about it?

We were e-mailed this, so I cannot give credit to the original website, and we ask that you please accept our apologies for the “bad word” used in this graphic. Remember to double-click on the image to open it in a larger format for easier reading.

This is a common-or-garden variety decision grid. The rows are options outwith your control, the columns are decisions you have the power to make, the intersection of row and column is an outcome.

I think it is obvious that the best thing to do is to withdraw all your savings, investments and pension immediately.  You heard it here first!

Best of luck!

The Silly Road Sign

IS THIS THE SILLIEST ROAD SIGN EVER?

Just look at it!  It is TINY.  It is the size of a business card.

It says “No loading at any time”, but you’d need to either have outstanding eyesight, or park your vehicle, and walk up to the sign to read what it says!  It is also very high up; you would need to be fairly tall to read it comfortably.

Look at the size of the pole that supports this small sign!

It beggars belief that they couldn’t have fixed this sign to the WALL — what a lot of bother digging up the pavement to erect the pole!

It is completely daft, and goes to illustrate the lack of common sense by local authorities who spend our hard-earned council taxes on bizarre things like this.

When I first saw this, I imagined it was some expensive public work of art; that’s how ridiculous it seemed.  Yes, things are getting worse!