Winter Fashion Special

THIS IS OUR FIRST EVER WINTER FASHION SPECIAL AT GETTING WORSE.

We have carried out a comprehensive study* of the current trends, and can reveal that this winter’s big thing is the red dress.

*a quick look along the newsagent’s display of women’s magazine covers. The photograph proves our findings. So if you do not want things to be getting worse, if you want to be bang up to the minute fashion-wise at Christmas, then WEAR RED.

You heard it here first (although it does work for Santa)!

Purple (TM)

WE WERE SENT THIS AMAZING PICTURE OF SOME PACKAGING.

The packaging is coloured purple, and there is a small statement:

“The Color PURPLE is a trademark of 3M”

Can this be true? Do they own that film by Speilberg that had Whoopie in it? Do they own rights to Price’s Purple Rain?

Things are getting worse when a company can trademark a colour!

Is using Purple piracy? A copyright infringement? Downright theft?

Woody Grave Stone

AT EGLINTON TOLL THERE IS A MONUMENTAL SCULPTOR’S YARD THAT IS FILLED WITH EXAMPLES OF THEIR WORK.

There are many styles of tombstones or gravestones, but one which caught my eye was the one with Woody from Disney-Pixar’s “Toy Story”.

First sight of this gravestone brings a chaos of emotions and thoughts. I thought of how sad it would be for a small child to die, and how shocking such a grave stone would be to visit. Then I thought of the context — how out-of-place such a grave might be, what reactions it might cause in other people visiting other graves… unless there was a children’s area of the cemetery filled with similar scenes.

Another thought was about copyright infringement, but would Disney-Pixar sue a mother and father with a recently deceased child? Perhaps this is licensed by Disney-Pixar? Things would certainly be getting worse if promotions have moved on from McDonald’s paper cups to graves.

New Chocolate Marketing

IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET I WAS SURPRISED BY THE NEW CHOCOLATE MARKETING APPROACH.

I couldn’t help myself from taking a snap on my cameraphone. Click on image to enlarge.

The top shelf, from the left has:

• Emergency Chocolate
• Bochox
• Girth Control
• 50% hers (Marital Bliss Bar)

They have got the packaging spot on, making the Bochox look like Botox, and I have to say, it made me laugh.

But then, things are getting worse when we need to find a way to sell us chocolate! Is it really necessary?

D+ Stress

I WAS STRUCK BY THIS NOTICE IN A HIGH SCHOOL & TOOK A PHOTOGRAPH USING MY CAMERAPHONE.

Click to enlarge image. It reads:

“Youth Stress Centre

Aromatheraphy Massage
Reiki
Self-Esteem
Relaxation
Reflexology
Stress Management
Anger Management

Appointments available at
Castlemilk Stress Centre
109 Stravanan Road
(above the shops)
Call us on 630 0111

MONDAY’S 6.00-8.30
WEDNESDAY’S 6.30-8.30

Funded by The National Lottery
NHS Greater Glasgow”

Where do I start? I have a problem with children going above shops for a massage.  This did not happen in my day, and I am not convinced it ought to happen today.

If  we overlook the terrible use of the apostrophe, the hours appear to indicate very early morning, before school starts.  On the other hand, perhaps it is meant to be PM  rather than AM or 24 hour clock, it is difficult to know for sure.  As Castlemilk is a very deprived and rough council estate, getting the times correct would be important, especially if one wanted to have less stress.

I do not understand how this can be part of the NHS, and yet receive funding from the National Lottery. I also do not understand how things like Reiki can be available under the auspices of either body when it is not recognised.  The Roman Catholic Church, for example, has outlawed Reiki practices as heretical and blasphemous!

• According to William T. Jarvis, Ph.D., of The National Council Against Health Fraud, there “is no evidence that clinical Reiki’s effects are due to anything other than suggestion” or the placebo effect.

Things are getting worse when school children are receiving early morning or late night hocus pocus to cope with “stress” all paid for by the Lottery and NHS. What will they do when they go to university or college — or later when they get a job? What will they do when they have real stress to deal with?

Would they not be better teaching children how to cope with their own stress, how to manage themselves without visiting a massage parlour in one of the biggest council estate black-spots in western Europe?

Seductive Wine

IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET I CAME ACROSS THIS BOTTLE OF WINE AND THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT WITH YOU HERE.

It is called Dr Loosen. Simple as that.

I would imagine that some Lothario would buy this to seduce his Calista merely on the strength of the unusual name.  Perhaps it would loosen things up, or loosen her clothing!

Elephant Saving Kitchen Paper

I WAS STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS BY THE CLAIMS ON THIS PRODUCT IN MY LOCAL SUPERMARKET.

It states that — by simply buying their kitchen roll — you could save African Elephants!

No one wants to harm African elephants, which is (by implication) what you would be doing by either buying some other brand of kitchen roll, or simply by not buying this Thirst Pockets brand of kitchen roll.

Things are getting bad when the future of African elephants lies in the balance and depends on you  and your shopping decisions.

Holiday Puzzlers

I LOVE GOING ON HOLIDAY, BUT I HATE LOOKING FOR HOLIDAYS.

The websites are rubbish because they let you fill in forms online and then tell you that there is nothing — and you are left to wonder what particular thing was wrong — was it the dates or times? Perhaps it was the Airport (Glasgow? so you try Edinburgh, Pretwick, Newcastle and so on), was it the hotel or detination.  It is a nightmare of complexity!

Even the local travel agency in Shawlands is confusing.  Click on the picture to enlarge.  I took this picture in the window to illustrate the point that you look at two prices and cannot help but compare them.  It looks like Majorca for £229 versus Kos for £297 — but that is not true; Majorca is based on FOUR sharing, while Kos is based on TWO sharing.

Why can’t the website and cheap airlines be simpler and clearer?  Why can’t the adverts tell you the price of the holiday or individual price? It doesn’t seem to me to be beyond them.

 

Cat Milk

I AM OFTEN STOPPED IN MY TRACKS BY WHAT I FIND ON SHOP SHELVES.

I came across Cat Milk recently, and wondered (of course) if it were milk from a cat (or cats).  It is more likely to be milk for a cat (or cats), but still, the matter was never made clear. The picture of the cat did not help.

Either way, Cat Milk cannot really be a serious proposition; it is not in national newspapers nor is it on TV or radio adverts (to the best of my knowledge).

I fancied buying a bottle to try it on my cereal, but at the last minute decided against it because it does not have any celebrity endorsement.

Things are certainly getting worse when Cat Milk is a possibility, don’t you think?

Vended Viagra

I WAS SENT A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET’S GENTS’ TOILET.

It shows the fascia panel of a vending machine that sells a variety of condoms.  Double click on the picture to enlarge.  This shows “vended Viagra”, or an “herbal” equivalent, “Menhancer”. Two capsules of 500mg for four pounds.

Things are definitely getting worse when chaps feel the need to enhance their sexual performance using drugs obtained from a “Johnny Box” in a local supermarket!