Just Another Hero?

WHAT IS GOING ON THE MINDS OF TOY MAKERS? Is it that they have run out of inspiration, or are they being controlled by the politically-correct brigade?

Just look at this toy (double left click on the image to enlarge).

It is called “MALE NURSE ACTION FIGURE” and includes a stethoscope and an x-ray clipboard! The tag line is: Physicians prescribe, Nurses provide!

Wait – a Male nurse action figure? Action? irrespective of gender, what on earth is going on? can a nurse really be the inspiration for an action figure? Am I missing something in my career as a ninja marine? This toy is actually worse than The Office Worker Action Figure I posted about back in July 2008.

Things are definitely getting worse when children want to get their excitement from male nursing. Hey, maybe they are all meant to be choking hazards so that you can heroically do the “Heimlich”.

Fizz! Theft of a Logo!

ONE THING THAT HAS ALWAYS ANNOYED ME ABOUT SKYPARK IN GLASGOW IS THAT THEY HAVE BLATANTLY STOLEN THE LOGO FROM PEPSI.

I suppose that it doesn’t matter now that Pepsi Cola have changed their logo, but still, I am just amazed.

The above pictures show the famous Pepsi Logo with the word “Pepsi” at the top. The background seems not to be important; the logo is still th elogo whether the background is blue or white.  In fact, if you look closer, it is clear that there is condensation and more photoreality in one over the other.

The positioning of the word “Pepsi” equally seems unimportant — here it is at the bottom for a change…

There are plenty of examples of the Pepsi logo without the word being used at all!

What I am trying to show here is that the logo is the s-shape in a circle.

The Skypark logo is the same s-shape within a circle — and they have it everywhere in all colours and shades.  Can it really be down to the absence of red or the slight tilt? Things are getting worse if it is!

I don’t think so — and the representation of the logo in wrought iron and etched glass renders this logo identical to that of the fizzy pop maker.  Fancy that!

Big Pupils

MY EYES GREW LARGE IN DISBELIEF WHEN  I SPOTTED THIS CHILDREN’S LUNCH MENU IN A LOCAL SHOP.

No wonder kids are fat these days!

• 1/2 pizza (deep fried) and chips
• sausage and chips
• popcorn chicken and chips
• chips
• roll and chips
• chips and curry
• chips and gravy
• chips and cheese
• fritters
• roll and fritters

Deep fried fat hell is on the school menu! Not a green vegetable, not a meat (except from chicken and sausage), just deep fried fatty potatoes basically!

Things are getting worse when shops are able to target school children in this way.

Handy?

DO YOU ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU VISIT THE TOILET?

Some people do, and some don’t.  It is difficult to wash hands when basins have no rubber bungs, no soap, and no hot water.  If there is no bung, you can only wash one hand at a time because the other hand is invariably holding down the tap.

Next on the list is drying.  I see so many guys leaving Gents’ toilets rubbing their damp hands down their trousers!

Paper towels are good, but messy (and can run out).  Hand dryers are popular, but they are noisy and people have to queue to use them (hence the impatient trouser-wipers).

It seems that the trouser-wipers are actually onto something, from a “saving-the-planet” viewpoint, as evidenced by the photograph here (just click on the image to enlarge). It states:

“We’ve given the
thumbs up to energy
saving hand dryers.
These hand dryers work faster and save
80% of the energy used by traditional dryers.
Plan A”

Things are definitely getting worse when there are no dryers and no towels and as we wipe on our denims we can read the stupid sign and feel that we’re “doing our bit” to save Earth. By the way, the 20% energy rating must be down to the trouser-wipe!

Why Pay?

TARGET THE CHILDREN!

You may recall that in our post entitled, “Power Message” from back in February 2008, we railed against toys that got brand names across to children.

Well, this is similar, but instead of pretend Black and Decker or Bosch tools, we have the supermarket (and its message) directly involved.

Click on the picture to enlarge.  You can buy a toy truck that says “You Shop We Drop” or “Why Pay More?”.

Things are getting worse when subliminal advertising is aimed at the children of the poor.

Handbags for Him!

HANDBAGS FOR MEN?

This was ridiculed back when it was first proposed in the 1990s along with men’s face creams.  My, how we once laughed at those European men with their manbags.

We never thought it would happen here, but suddenly, it seems to have caught on in Glasgow.  Yes, Glasgow – the city known for calling a man a “poof” just for having an umbrella.  A place once proud of using plastic carrier bags in lieu of a proper hat.

Gone are the man bags (such as attaché cases, briefcases, sports bags and rucksacks), it’s all full-on handbags nowadays.

I guess they need somewhere to put their cosmetics!  They certainly do not need a bag to carry CDs or tapes because we have MP3 players now.  The next thing is to have gents’ trousers and jackets with no pockets (you heard it here first).

Spin The Bottle?

SPIN THE BOTTLE IS A RISQUÉ ACTIVITY USUALLY DISCOVERED IN THE WHITE HEAT OF ADOLESCENCE.

The idea is to drink some alcohol, then use the empty bottle in a game.  Everyone forms a circle and the bottle is laid down and spun.  It eventually comes to rest pointing at someone.  This is the selection process.  What happens next depends on all sorts of things — use your imagination; it’s an alcohol and hormone driven game of chance!

The first thing that occurred to me when I came across this “game” in a toy shop, was that it was too risqué for kids.  Then I  realised that it taught them the game, that it “formalised” it.

Things are getting worse when people can even think of buying such a thing — think people! All you need to play this game is some imagination and a bottle –there is NO NEED TO BUY A SPECIAL “SPIN THE BOTTLE” BOTTLE!

Good grief!

Wise Up To Banks

POOR BANKERS.

Not so long ago we were occupied in hunting them down for their years of illegal and excessive charges and fees, and we got refunds galore until the pre-trial freeze.

Then some banks tried to be rotters — saying they would charge us to have a current account — while others tried to be warm and cuddly.

Now we have the credit crunch and the financial system is in turmoil!

So I thought it would be nice ot have a reminder of when (only a few months ago) some banks were trying to be customer friendly…

From a web site called Influx insights, an article on Barclay’s Bank showed that they were trying to rebrand to get rid of the old ways — and this even extended to language.

For example, instead of ATMs, they would use “Hole in the Wall”.

This was announced on the Barclay’s web site with their marketing director’s quote:

“Banks have for a long time come across as unfriendly simply by the way they communicate to customers. The chain on the pen sums up the relationship banks have had with their customers for too long — basically we don’t trust you to leave this pen behind after you use it, yet we expect you to entrust us with your life savings. It’s about time we redressed the balance and made ourselves part of the twenty first century – and a free pen is a small gesture to show customers we value their custom.”

“Equally we will be using language that everyone knows and understands. Instead of having signs saying ‘Customer Service’, we will be replacing them with ones that simply say ‘Can I Help’. That awful acronym ATM will also go, to be replaced by words like ‘Hole in the Wall’, after all I don’t know anyone in Manchester who goes to an ATM to get money out, but I know a fair few who pop off to the Hole in the Wall. Overall, this use of simple, accessible language will complement our main work which involves offering great value for money to our customers.”

Ah, pity we have the present problem.

While we are on the topic, what ought we to do about it?

We were e-mailed this, so I cannot give credit to the original website, and we ask that you please accept our apologies for the “bad word” used in this graphic. Remember to double-click on the image to open it in a larger format for easier reading.

This is a common-or-garden variety decision grid. The rows are options outwith your control, the columns are decisions you have the power to make, the intersection of row and column is an outcome.

I think it is obvious that the best thing to do is to withdraw all your savings, investments and pension immediately.  You heard it here first!

Best of luck!

Bad Birthday Cake

A SPECIALLY MADE BIRTHDAY CAKE.

What a good idea — and it is all the rage these days too.  Any four-year-old would be delighted to have a cake specially made just for them!

However, look at the subject matter — is “Grand Theft Auto” really suitable for a 4 year old? It has an “R” rating apart from anything else. (Click on Picture to enlarge)

What have the parents been allowing?  What were they thinking? Oooh, things are getting worse!

Braehead’s Gives itself an Award!

BRAEHEAD SHOPPING CENTRE HAS WON AN AWARD! This must be in reaction to the opening of Silverburn at Pollok. Throughout the shopping centre, signs boast:
BRAEHEAD
PROUD TO BE
SHOPPING
DESTINATION
OF THE YEAR
2007/2008.

Beneath, we can see that the award was given by the “Scottish Retail Excellence Awards” — which then turns out to be the Scottish Daily Record Newspaper, Scottish Business Insider Magazine and The Scottish Retail Consortium.

I would hazard a wee guess that The Scottish Retail Consortium is a group of shops — probably those located at Braehead! So maybe they voted for themselves. Fair enough. In a similarly cynical way, I would have to suppose that the newspaper and magazine would receive a considerable advertising revenue for the shopping centre, so it is possible that this award is far from independent or objective.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Braehead is better than Silverburn and East Kilbride, but I do object to this campaign as it is so bombastic and smacks of desperation to be honest. They ought to rise above all that. Braehead is well established, it has an arena, ice skating and cinema, and is close to Ikea and Xscape. It has nothing to fear from East Kilbride (which charges car parking), and Pollok (which has nothing special to offer).

The downside to all of these shopping centres is the traffic! They are all car-oriented, although some gains have recently been made with buses. Forget subways and trains. Maybe in summer (if we ever get one again), Braehead will be able to cash in again on access by boat along the Clyde.