Purple (TM)

WE WERE SENT THIS AMAZING PICTURE OF SOME PACKAGING.

The packaging is coloured purple, and there is a small statement:

“The Color PURPLE is a trademark of 3M”

Can this be true? Do they own that film by Speilberg that had Whoopie in it? Do they own rights to Price’s Purple Rain?

Things are getting worse when a company can trademark a colour!

Is using Purple piracy? A copyright infringement? Downright theft?

New Chocolate Marketing

IN A LOCAL SUPERMARKET I WAS SURPRISED BY THE NEW CHOCOLATE MARKETING APPROACH.

I couldn’t help myself from taking a snap on my cameraphone. Click on image to enlarge.

The top shelf, from the left has:

• Emergency Chocolate
• Bochox
• Girth Control
• 50% hers (Marital Bliss Bar)

They have got the packaging spot on, making the Bochox look like Botox, and I have to say, it made me laugh.

But then, things are getting worse when we need to find a way to sell us chocolate! Is it really necessary?

D+ Stress

I WAS STRUCK BY THIS NOTICE IN A HIGH SCHOOL & TOOK A PHOTOGRAPH USING MY CAMERAPHONE.

Click to enlarge image. It reads:

“Youth Stress Centre

Aromatheraphy Massage
Reiki
Self-Esteem
Relaxation
Reflexology
Stress Management
Anger Management

Appointments available at
Castlemilk Stress Centre
109 Stravanan Road
(above the shops)
Call us on 630 0111

MONDAY’S 6.00-8.30
WEDNESDAY’S 6.30-8.30

Funded by The National Lottery
NHS Greater Glasgow”

Where do I start? I have a problem with children going above shops for a massage.  This did not happen in my day, and I am not convinced it ought to happen today.

If  we overlook the terrible use of the apostrophe, the hours appear to indicate very early morning, before school starts.  On the other hand, perhaps it is meant to be PM  rather than AM or 24 hour clock, it is difficult to know for sure.  As Castlemilk is a very deprived and rough council estate, getting the times correct would be important, especially if one wanted to have less stress.

I do not understand how this can be part of the NHS, and yet receive funding from the National Lottery. I also do not understand how things like Reiki can be available under the auspices of either body when it is not recognised.  The Roman Catholic Church, for example, has outlawed Reiki practices as heretical and blasphemous!

• According to William T. Jarvis, Ph.D., of The National Council Against Health Fraud, there “is no evidence that clinical Reiki’s effects are due to anything other than suggestion” or the placebo effect.

Things are getting worse when school children are receiving early morning or late night hocus pocus to cope with “stress” all paid for by the Lottery and NHS. What will they do when they go to university or college — or later when they get a job? What will they do when they have real stress to deal with?

Would they not be better teaching children how to cope with their own stress, how to manage themselves without visiting a massage parlour in one of the biggest council estate black-spots in western Europe?

Elephant Saving Kitchen Paper

I WAS STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS BY THE CLAIMS ON THIS PRODUCT IN MY LOCAL SUPERMARKET.

It states that — by simply buying their kitchen roll — you could save African Elephants!

No one wants to harm African elephants, which is (by implication) what you would be doing by either buying some other brand of kitchen roll, or simply by not buying this Thirst Pockets brand of kitchen roll.

Things are getting bad when the future of African elephants lies in the balance and depends on you  and your shopping decisions.

Yo-Yo Diet Mags

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YO-YO DIETS.

It is a conspiracy between the slimming diet industry, the media and ordinary, gullible women. They tell you of the latest diet craze, even if it is the exact opposite of the truth, science, or even next month’s new diet craze.

Here’s a perfect example:

“THE CARB LOVER’S DIET”

(tick) Feel full and flatten your tum!

(tick) Lose 6lb this week

(tick) Eat crisps, drink wine!”

There is even a picture of a gorgeous young model tucking into a plate of pasta! Honestly!

This diet will definitely make you fatter, and so you will buy in to the next diet.

If you are interested in the history of dieting and manipulation, click here. If you cannot be bothered following the link or reading up, then let me just say that it is not a simple energy-in, energy-out equation; you can put AAA batteries in your car’s petrol tank, but it’s not the same effect as putting petrol in there. Sure, you put in a lot of energy, but it is the form that the energy takes — whether it is a carbohydrate, starch, fibre, sugar, alcohol, protein, or fat.

The only diet that has been scientifically proven to help you lose weight is one that reduces/ controls the available carbohydrates.  That flies in the face of the Carb Lover’s Diet!

People get exploited because there is a lot of confusion about health and well being goals.  Trying to lose weight is not the same thing as becoming aerobically fitter, stronger, or even healthier.  A healthy diet is not the same as the diet of an athlete or slimmer.  Things are getting worse when the gullible can be so easily exploited!

Break The Law

THE POLICE ARE CRACKING DOWN ON US AGAIN. They have been out and about all week causing traffic congestion for shoppers.  It is the three old chestnuts — parking, speeding and drink-driving.

Something is wrong with a society when ordinary everyday citizens are more concerned with getting caught by the authorities than by criminals.  I have seen grown men brought to tears by parking wardens, simply because their ticket at the meter bay expired ten minutes ago.

Things are getting worse.  Yet, what I do not understand is why it has to be that way.  Sure, it brings in an awful lot of money — it is all a hidden tax after all — but I think it is too high a price to pay, for the downside far outweighs the income.

For example, instead of putting money in a meter, you could just swipe your credit card and settle up at the end of the day.  The argument about short-stay periods is nonsense; just have a different rate for long stays.  That would mean that no person would be criminalised, stressed and angry — the NHS would see the benefit, and we’d have less road rage and a general lifting of mood.

Speed cameras are bad, and speed limits are silly.  Drivers panic when they see a speed camera, and speed limits cannot be taken seriously because they do not account for traffic jams, bad weather, late night driving and so forth.

Why are we putting up with this silliness? Speed limiters exist — see the photograph.  If no car could speed, this would free up the police to catch people driving dangerously or carelessly under the effects of drink or drugs.

The state pretends to be nannying us, protecting us, keeping us safe — but the truth is that we live in fear of the state — they are not there for us, they are out to get us, to take our money and ruin our lives — either by the consequences of human mistakes or by making us so paranoid and stressed out that we cannot actually live our lives freely.

Happy New Year!

Report Anything Suspicious

SUSPICIOUS IS A FUNNY WORD, ISN’T IT?
I saw this sign in the Glasgow underground today — it states:

Outer Circle 1 min
Report Anything Suspicious

Now, the first thing I noticed was that something had been stuck — deliberately — to this sign.  Perhaps this was an attempt to obscure some important information?  Look closely at the picture — double click to enlarge for a better view — doesn’t that look suspicious?

It doesn’t say who to report to.  It doesn’t say how to make a report. It doesn’t say what might be described as “suspicious”.

I had a suspicion a train was coming – - ought I to report this fact to someone? I started to get worried, what was suspicious? Should I suspect people of being illegal immigrants?  of being closet homosexuals? Perhaps I ought to report that chap for looking “shifty” — that’s suspicious, isn’t it?

Things are definitely getting worse on the tube these days! In the end I reported the sign. “Outer Circles” are pretty suspicious, don’t you think?  A bit like crop circles maybe? Who knows!

Pot Luck on Roads

THE ROADS ARE IN A DREADFUL STATE.

However, it seems that the council’s new LLCs would rather spend our tax-quids on speed cameras and speed humps in parking bays than fix the pot holes!

It is no exaggeration, and there is often no opportunity to avoid driving into them because of cars parked either side of the road.

These photographs were taken at the Battlefield monument right outside the Victoria Infirmary (one of the two southside hospitals in Glasgow city).  I pity the occupants of ambulances that have to deal with these pot holes on a daily basis!

Mind you, according to a news story I read, the repairs are never done very well. It’s all one big money-spinning racket. We’re going to pot (holes) — and, yes, things are still getting worse!

Scandalous: Council Secret Sell offs!

“DIRECT AND CARE” IS AN ANNOYING NAME FOR A COUNCIL DEPARTMENT BUT IT IS NO LONGER!

When I poked fun at “Direct and Care“ on this site, little did I know it really did have a bad name.  Not just that it was badly named, but that it was causing all sorts of financial trouble for the council.

I checked the City’s website this morning, and was surprised to see an entry dated a few days ago (31 October 2008 to be exact) regarding “Direct and Care”.

• www.glasgow.gov.uk/en/News/DirectCareLLP.htm

This is an amazing tale, and it demands your attention for a host of good reasons, not least of which is that almost no-one knows anything about what is going on!

Here’s the deal: “Direct and Care” grew to be one of the biggest council departments, with a staff of about 8000 civil servants.

Now, as you can imagine, all City councils are legally obliged — and committed — to meet financial targets set by the main government.

Back in June 2007, it was noticed that the so-called “Significant Trading Operations” (or “STOs”) of Glasgow’s “Direct and Care” department was in bad shape. Even their targets were to be met over a three year period, they were not on track to do this, they were heading for disaster!

So what to do?

The Executive Committee immediately asked for a “review” — they needed suggestions, ideas, and most of all, they needed answers — and fast.  They needed to get out of this hole — somehow.

So with Grant Thornton and Burness solicitors, a review of different options for getting out of trouble was produced.

The option that was decided upon was to privatise the department — something they had done before with “City Building”, “Culture and Sport Glasgow”, and “Glasgow Community and Safety Services”.  The council’s website puts it like this:

“Members of the Council’s Executive Committee today (Friday, 31 October 2008) approved a business plan to turn the department into the Council’s latest arm’s-length company…

The move means Direct and Care will have more opportunity to grow as a business by targeting the external market and should become more competitive in the longer term.”

Basically, there was no way this department was going to toe-the-line financially.  It was a huge money-pit.  There was no way the department would match the cheaper costs in the private sector — but they couldn’t just sack everyone, close down the department and put the workload out to competitive private tender. The City Leader, Steven Purcell said:

“If no action was taken by the Council it’s likely that we may have had to put these services out to competition, and winning contracts would be very difficult.”

Not one civil servant is made redundant, and the newly formed company will continue to provide the expensive and inefficient services we have come to expect — it’s just that because they are no longer aprt of the council, the targets are avoided and the council’s legal obligation evaporates!

Amusingly, the “business plan” produced as part of the review shows the new company becoming profitable in it’s FIRST year! It did not explain why it could not become profitable when run as a council department!

The company formed is a limited liability partnership, so if anything goes horribly wrong, the damage (liability) to the council will be limited — the council being in partnership with the private company — in that it provides work and money for the company but doesn’t take profits!

Things are getting worse when councils can do such significant things without asking the people who voted them into office and who pay for it all.

Things are getting worse when a loss-making department is turned into a loss-making company when the best way to serve the people would be to (a) run the departments better, or else (b) scrap everything and get quotes — the private companies quoting would obviously be unable to meet the sudden demand, so they would naturally have to employ experienced and qualified people — in other words, those who used to do the job for the council department.

This would separate the wheat from the chaff, and we’d get the best people for the best money, but no, we’ve got the wrost people for the worst money — and the government mechanism put in place to make councils more cost-effective has been by-passed.

Wise Up To Banks

POOR BANKERS.

Not so long ago we were occupied in hunting them down for their years of illegal and excessive charges and fees, and we got refunds galore until the pre-trial freeze.

Then some banks tried to be rotters — saying they would charge us to have a current account — while others tried to be warm and cuddly.

Now we have the credit crunch and the financial system is in turmoil!

So I thought it would be nice ot have a reminder of when (only a few months ago) some banks were trying to be customer friendly…

From a web site called Influx insights, an article on Barclay’s Bank showed that they were trying to rebrand to get rid of the old ways — and this even extended to language.

For example, instead of ATMs, they would use “Hole in the Wall”.

This was announced on the Barclay’s web site with their marketing director’s quote:

“Banks have for a long time come across as unfriendly simply by the way they communicate to customers. The chain on the pen sums up the relationship banks have had with their customers for too long — basically we don’t trust you to leave this pen behind after you use it, yet we expect you to entrust us with your life savings. It’s about time we redressed the balance and made ourselves part of the twenty first century – and a free pen is a small gesture to show customers we value their custom.”

“Equally we will be using language that everyone knows and understands. Instead of having signs saying ‘Customer Service’, we will be replacing them with ones that simply say ‘Can I Help’. That awful acronym ATM will also go, to be replaced by words like ‘Hole in the Wall’, after all I don’t know anyone in Manchester who goes to an ATM to get money out, but I know a fair few who pop off to the Hole in the Wall. Overall, this use of simple, accessible language will complement our main work which involves offering great value for money to our customers.”

Ah, pity we have the present problem.

While we are on the topic, what ought we to do about it?

We were e-mailed this, so I cannot give credit to the original website, and we ask that you please accept our apologies for the “bad word” used in this graphic. Remember to double-click on the image to open it in a larger format for easier reading.

This is a common-or-garden variety decision grid. The rows are options outwith your control, the columns are decisions you have the power to make, the intersection of row and column is an outcome.

I think it is obvious that the best thing to do is to withdraw all your savings, investments and pension immediately.  You heard it here first!

Best of luck!