Brand & Ross

I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE A SIGN ON THE PAISLEY ROAD WEST IN GLASGOW.

It was about a property for let.  I couldn’t help but be struck by the name of the letting agency — Brand & Ross!

Could it be that the dynamic duo have abandoned cutting edge broadcasting in favour of a career in property management?  Things must be getting worse!

Report Anything Suspicious

SUSPICIOUS IS A FUNNY WORD, ISN’T IT?
I saw this sign in the Glasgow underground today — it states:

Outer Circle 1 min
Report Anything Suspicious

Now, the first thing I noticed was that something had been stuck — deliberately — to this sign.  Perhaps this was an attempt to obscure some important information?  Look closely at the picture — double click to enlarge for a better view — doesn’t that look suspicious?

It doesn’t say who to report to.  It doesn’t say how to make a report. It doesn’t say what might be described as “suspicious”.

I had a suspicion a train was coming – - ought I to report this fact to someone? I started to get worried, what was suspicious? Should I suspect people of being illegal immigrants?  of being closet homosexuals? Perhaps I ought to report that chap for looking “shifty” — that’s suspicious, isn’t it?

Things are definitely getting worse on the tube these days! In the end I reported the sign. “Outer Circles” are pretty suspicious, don’t you think?  A bit like crop circles maybe? Who knows!

Handy?

DO YOU ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU VISIT THE TOILET?

Some people do, and some don’t.  It is difficult to wash hands when basins have no rubber bungs, no soap, and no hot water.  If there is no bung, you can only wash one hand at a time because the other hand is invariably holding down the tap.

Next on the list is drying.  I see so many guys leaving Gents’ toilets rubbing their damp hands down their trousers!

Paper towels are good, but messy (and can run out).  Hand dryers are popular, but they are noisy and people have to queue to use them (hence the impatient trouser-wipers).

It seems that the trouser-wipers are actually onto something, from a “saving-the-planet” viewpoint, as evidenced by the photograph here (just click on the image to enlarge). It states:

“We’ve given the
thumbs up to energy
saving hand dryers.
These hand dryers work faster and save
80% of the energy used by traditional dryers.
Plan A”

Things are definitely getting worse when there are no dryers and no towels and as we wipe on our denims we can read the stupid sign and feel that we’re “doing our bit” to save Earth. By the way, the 20% energy rating must be down to the trouser-wipe!

Why Pay?

TARGET THE CHILDREN!

You may recall that in our post entitled, “Power Message” from back in February 2008, we railed against toys that got brand names across to children.

Well, this is similar, but instead of pretend Black and Decker or Bosch tools, we have the supermarket (and its message) directly involved.

Click on the picture to enlarge.  You can buy a toy truck that says “You Shop We Drop” or “Why Pay More?”.

Things are getting worse when subliminal advertising is aimed at the children of the poor.

Reversing Sponsorship

WE ALL KNOW THAT RUGBY SPONSORSHIP BY RBS WAS AT RISK BECAUSE OF THE CREDIT CRUNCH AND BAIL-OUT.

The story broke back in October 2008 (See Telegraph article here), however, RBS were reported in January 2009 to have continued with sponsoring the six nations’ rugby tournament for a further four years (according to Reuters’ on-line article here).

So what is going on with the advertising in the South Side?  Is this something to do with “The Goodwin effect”?

Click on the picture to enlarge — the poster is in a prime location, well lighted — but it’s been taken down and replaced outside-in.  What does it mean?  It certainly cannot be cheap!

Scandalous: Council Secret Sell offs!

“DIRECT AND CARE” IS AN ANNOYING NAME FOR A COUNCIL DEPARTMENT BUT IT IS NO LONGER!

When I poked fun at “Direct and Care“ on this site, little did I know it really did have a bad name.  Not just that it was badly named, but that it was causing all sorts of financial trouble for the council.

I checked the City’s website this morning, and was surprised to see an entry dated a few days ago (31 October 2008 to be exact) regarding “Direct and Care”.

• www.glasgow.gov.uk/en/News/DirectCareLLP.htm

This is an amazing tale, and it demands your attention for a host of good reasons, not least of which is that almost no-one knows anything about what is going on!

Here’s the deal: “Direct and Care” grew to be one of the biggest council departments, with a staff of about 8000 civil servants.

Now, as you can imagine, all City councils are legally obliged — and committed — to meet financial targets set by the main government.

Back in June 2007, it was noticed that the so-called “Significant Trading Operations” (or “STOs”) of Glasgow’s “Direct and Care” department was in bad shape. Even their targets were to be met over a three year period, they were not on track to do this, they were heading for disaster!

So what to do?

The Executive Committee immediately asked for a “review” — they needed suggestions, ideas, and most of all, they needed answers — and fast.  They needed to get out of this hole — somehow.

So with Grant Thornton and Burness solicitors, a review of different options for getting out of trouble was produced.

The option that was decided upon was to privatise the department — something they had done before with “City Building”, “Culture and Sport Glasgow”, and “Glasgow Community and Safety Services”.  The council’s website puts it like this:

“Members of the Council’s Executive Committee today (Friday, 31 October 2008) approved a business plan to turn the department into the Council’s latest arm’s-length company…

The move means Direct and Care will have more opportunity to grow as a business by targeting the external market and should become more competitive in the longer term.”

Basically, there was no way this department was going to toe-the-line financially.  It was a huge money-pit.  There was no way the department would match the cheaper costs in the private sector — but they couldn’t just sack everyone, close down the department and put the workload out to competitive private tender. The City Leader, Steven Purcell said:

“If no action was taken by the Council it’s likely that we may have had to put these services out to competition, and winning contracts would be very difficult.”

Not one civil servant is made redundant, and the newly formed company will continue to provide the expensive and inefficient services we have come to expect — it’s just that because they are no longer aprt of the council, the targets are avoided and the council’s legal obligation evaporates!

Amusingly, the “business plan” produced as part of the review shows the new company becoming profitable in it’s FIRST year! It did not explain why it could not become profitable when run as a council department!

The company formed is a limited liability partnership, so if anything goes horribly wrong, the damage (liability) to the council will be limited — the council being in partnership with the private company — in that it provides work and money for the company but doesn’t take profits!

Things are getting worse when councils can do such significant things without asking the people who voted them into office and who pay for it all.

Things are getting worse when a loss-making department is turned into a loss-making company when the best way to serve the people would be to (a) run the departments better, or else (b) scrap everything and get quotes — the private companies quoting would obviously be unable to meet the sudden demand, so they would naturally have to employ experienced and qualified people — in other words, those who used to do the job for the council department.

This would separate the wheat from the chaff, and we’d get the best people for the best money, but no, we’ve got the wrost people for the worst money — and the government mechanism put in place to make councils more cost-effective has been by-passed.

Wise Up To Banks

POOR BANKERS.

Not so long ago we were occupied in hunting them down for their years of illegal and excessive charges and fees, and we got refunds galore until the pre-trial freeze.

Then some banks tried to be rotters — saying they would charge us to have a current account — while others tried to be warm and cuddly.

Now we have the credit crunch and the financial system is in turmoil!

So I thought it would be nice ot have a reminder of when (only a few months ago) some banks were trying to be customer friendly…

From a web site called Influx insights, an article on Barclay’s Bank showed that they were trying to rebrand to get rid of the old ways — and this even extended to language.

For example, instead of ATMs, they would use “Hole in the Wall”.

This was announced on the Barclay’s web site with their marketing director’s quote:

“Banks have for a long time come across as unfriendly simply by the way they communicate to customers. The chain on the pen sums up the relationship banks have had with their customers for too long — basically we don’t trust you to leave this pen behind after you use it, yet we expect you to entrust us with your life savings. It’s about time we redressed the balance and made ourselves part of the twenty first century – and a free pen is a small gesture to show customers we value their custom.”

“Equally we will be using language that everyone knows and understands. Instead of having signs saying ‘Customer Service’, we will be replacing them with ones that simply say ‘Can I Help’. That awful acronym ATM will also go, to be replaced by words like ‘Hole in the Wall’, after all I don’t know anyone in Manchester who goes to an ATM to get money out, but I know a fair few who pop off to the Hole in the Wall. Overall, this use of simple, accessible language will complement our main work which involves offering great value for money to our customers.”

Ah, pity we have the present problem.

While we are on the topic, what ought we to do about it?

We were e-mailed this, so I cannot give credit to the original website, and we ask that you please accept our apologies for the “bad word” used in this graphic. Remember to double-click on the image to open it in a larger format for easier reading.

This is a common-or-garden variety decision grid. The rows are options outwith your control, the columns are decisions you have the power to make, the intersection of row and column is an outcome.

I think it is obvious that the best thing to do is to withdraw all your savings, investments and pension immediately.  You heard it here first!

Best of luck!

Antisocial lighting?

SUPERMARKET FIGHTS ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOUR USING LIGHTING!

Hard to believe I know, but it seems to be true — according to the sign in a Morrison’s Toilet.

It says:

CAUTION

The lights in this toilet

have been altered to deter

antisocial behaviour.

It may take a few minutes

for your eyes to adjust.

Can you believe this? Is it possible? Does it work? Is is safe? Is it legal? Is it moral? Things are definitely getting worse when this sort of thing can be allowed to occur without debate. I think the public ought to be informed that they may be subjected to conditions and forms of behavioural control.

Braehead’s Gives itself an Award!

BRAEHEAD SHOPPING CENTRE HAS WON AN AWARD! This must be in reaction to the opening of Silverburn at Pollok. Throughout the shopping centre, signs boast:
BRAEHEAD
PROUD TO BE
SHOPPING
DESTINATION
OF THE YEAR
2007/2008.

Beneath, we can see that the award was given by the “Scottish Retail Excellence Awards” — which then turns out to be the Scottish Daily Record Newspaper, Scottish Business Insider Magazine and The Scottish Retail Consortium.

I would hazard a wee guess that The Scottish Retail Consortium is a group of shops — probably those located at Braehead! So maybe they voted for themselves. Fair enough. In a similarly cynical way, I would have to suppose that the newspaper and magazine would receive a considerable advertising revenue for the shopping centre, so it is possible that this award is far from independent or objective.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Braehead is better than Silverburn and East Kilbride, but I do object to this campaign as it is so bombastic and smacks of desperation to be honest. They ought to rise above all that. Braehead is well established, it has an arena, ice skating and cinema, and is close to Ikea and Xscape. It has nothing to fear from East Kilbride (which charges car parking), and Pollok (which has nothing special to offer).

The downside to all of these shopping centres is the traffic! They are all car-oriented, although some gains have recently been made with buses. Forget subways and trains. Maybe in summer (if we ever get one again), Braehead will be able to cash in again on access by boat along the Clyde.

IHF (I Hate Football)

“BJK” is everywhere as graffiti, and so I said one day,

“That BJK” gets about — wonder if it’s a girl or boy.”

“It’s not someone’s initials; it stands for ‘Big Jock Knew’.”

“Big Jock — whoever that is — knew what?”

“Knew about Alan Brazil and the others”

“Who is Alan Brazil?”

“Brazil played for Spurs and Manchester United.”

“Ahah – a footballer!”

“Yes, he was a Scottish footballer but he then became a DJ on Talk Sport, but he had a drink problem”

“A drink problem?”

“Yes, as a result of what happened to him when he was a wee boy”

“How, what happened to him?”

“Well he started off playing for Celtic Boys Club…”

“Celtic? I thought you said Spurs and Manchester United”

“No, he never played for Celtic. Celtic Boys Club has nothing officially to do with Celtic, it just has that name”

“How can it get away with that name if it has nothing to do with Celtic?”

“That’s the whole point — Jim Torbett who founded and named the club — wanted people to make that connection to ensure success for his venture. He got a lot of boys as a result, which is a pity as he was a paedophile.”

“A child molester?”

“Yes, he got jailed back in 1996 for it, and Alan Brazil’s testimony put him away”

“So Celtic Boys Club was just a sham or scam…”

“Not entirely, it wasn’t all and only about molesting kids, it actually managed to feed players into the system, some through Celtic as well. It’s still going, and it’s still as independent as it was back then”

“So what’s this got to do with this ‘Big Jock’?”

“‘Big Jock’ is Jock Stein. He was the manager of Celtic at the time when Jim Torbett was abusing Alan Brazil and the rest.”

“Sorry, but I don’t ‘get it’”

“Well they’re saying that ‘Big Jock Knew’ about the child abuse.”

“Did Jock Stein abuse kids too?”

“No, no, no, Jock Stein got a CBE from the Queen, the man was highly respected all around the world. He’s rated as one of the ‘Big Four’ — the so-called ‘Great Quartet’ of Scottish football managers, along with Bill Shankly, Sir Matt Busby and Sir Alex Ferguson. He was even voted The Greatest Scottish Football Manager for his work with Dunfermline, Hibernian, Celtic and Scotland. He is something to be proud of, an example, a great Scottish figure — he died back in 1985″.

“OK, I have to say that I have a lot of information, but am none-the-wiser! WHO is saying that he knew that this bloke was child molesting? — and why would someone want to bring down a great Scottish role model?”

“It’s just the old Protestant versus Catholic thing, Rangers versus Celtic.”

“So Jock Stein was a Roman Catholic?”

“Nope, Jock Stein was a Protestant”

“But Celtic is Roman Catholic and Rangers is Protestant, yes?”

“Not really, Rangers had an historical thing about being anti-Catholic, it’s all transferred over from the troubles in Northern Ireland, but it’s far from logical or rational. Rangers for years wouldn’t employ a Roman Catholic, and so their support tended to be people who resented non-Protestants. Celtic employed anyone of any persuasion, but the support naturally adopted the opposing and equally extreme values of Rangers, their main rivals, and this included the Northern Irish rubbish too”.

“Why would one type of Christian resent another type of Christian?”

“Well, it’s not as if the people involved go to church or read the Bible. It was in the workplace, nationalised industries, for example, were considered to be ‘closed shops’, employing only Protestants. When Roman Catholics came back to Britain, they arrived at Liverpool and Glasgow. Just like the Jews before them, the Roman Catholics could not get work, so they inevitably became self-employed. They stuck together, had large families and helped each other become successful — and their flashy cars and big houses were resented by the majority living in vast council estates in and around Glasgow — those who suffered most in recession and in Thatcher’s privatisation.”

“So it’s not really about religious bigotry, because it is not one religion versus another religion. And it’s not sectarianism (about one Christian sect versus another Christian sect) — it’s about Jealousy and envy and money basically?”

“Not even that simple. Things have changed over the years; there’s no ‘Troubles’ in Northern Ireland any more, and Rangers employ Roman Catholics, and people have bought their council houses — so a lot of the old distinctions are blurred.”

“But they are spraying ‘Big Jock Knew’ and ‘BJK’ everywhere, I just don’t get how that is supposed to work.”

“To spell it out: They are saying that there is a tie-in between Celtic and this private boys club, and that as a result, Jock Stein knew about the child abuse — but did nothing about it. It’s a shameful secret — some dirty laundry against Celtic and Saint Jock Stein…”

“Nope, it doesn’t make sense to me! Protestants are slagging off a successful — the most successful Protestant Scottish manager — they are attacking someone who is long-since dead and cannot refute anything — they are ruining a good role model, besmirching a memory, harming the surviving family simply to taunt Celtic fans? That’s insane!”

“It doesn’t really make sense, but none of this Celtic vs Rangers stuff does that”

“But has no-one asked themselves why Jock Stein would do nothing? Why would anyone do nothing if they knew? From the sound of it, Jock Stein knew how to manage men, how to bond them together to make a successful team — this suggests an instinctive knowledge of psychology and sociology. He would, most certainly, have seen molestation as bad for the boys, bad for his team and club, and bad for football and society in general, and in my opinion, a person with that track record of success would have the authority and confidence to speak out. It’s actually sickening that we can sink so low”

“Things are getting worse — it’s all over the web now:

• http://www.etims.net/
• http://www.bigjockknew.com/
• http://members.aol.com/jocksteinletter/“

“No wonder I hate football! As a girl, I hate it, and as a sane person I hate it. This doesn’t help, but instead raises questions about this sort of thing each time I meet a guy– and that is a bummer, let me tell you!”

The BJK thing is a brilliant taunt, it is extremely annoying (and all the moreso now that I know what it means). That is what a taunt is supposed to do. I reckon it’s working well at raising hackles and more. But do I care? Well, no. Not really. I didn’t know who Big Jock was, so why would it bother me? There must be loads of people out there who have never heard of Big Jock or the other names. It was a long time ago, long before my time (I am only a young thing), so I don’t really care. All I care about is hating everything to do with that stupid game! What good has it done for Glasgow? We’d have been better off without football altogether.