Council Cleaning Con

THE CITY COUNCIL ALWAYS AMAZES ME BY THEIR SHIRKING OF RESPONSIBILITY.

Take this poster for example.  Double left click on the image to enlarge.

This is a poster in a charity chop window on Kilmarnock Rd (which is the main street in Shawlands). It is about so-called “Community cleaning of a lane”.

Yes, it is advertising the fact that the council wants local residents to clean their own streets and lane.  Hey, isn’t that what we pay council tax for?

Things are getting worse when the council can take council tax from us, and then get us to do the work ourselves! How Bizarre!

Hospital Parking

HOSPITAL PARKING WAS A POLITICAL HOT POTATO. IT’S NOW FREE.

However, things are getting worse when the signs are so confusing!

Click on Picture to Enlarge.

It says –

“New Parking Arrangements
From 31st December 2008
*No car parking charges
*Unauthorised Car parking
Notices in Force
MAXIMUM STAY
4 HOURS
(Monday to Friday)
Exemptions for patients and visitors”

Now, I don’t know about you, but “free car parking at all Scottish Hospitals” seems easy to understand. “No Car Parking Charges” pretty much covers that.

So — what’s this about a 4 hour maximum stay?

Now, there is a suggestion that this 4 hour maximum is flexible if you are a patient or visitor (i.e. almost everyone), only nurses and doctors will be getting tickets then. Weird!

What confused me the most was the “Unauthorised Parking Notices in Force” — what exactly does that mean — unless parking is “authorised” in the first place, it is meaningless.

Last Bus Unknown

SOME OTHER BUS COMPANY WILL BE WORKING THIS ROUTE SOMETIMES, BUT WE’RE NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHO IT IS –  JUST THAT IT ‘AIN’T US, SO THERE!

That is basically what the following notice is about (please double click on the image to see it enlarged).

This is what it states:

First transforming travel CUSTOMER NOTICE Service 121 Govan – Victoria Infirmary From Friday 7 November a revised timetable will operate on service 121 as a result of changes to the SPT tender. First Glasgow will continue to operate the service during the day Monday to Saturday. In the early morning, evening and all day Sundays another operator will run service 121. Please call Strathclyde Partnership for Transport on 0845 271 2405 for details of the service at these times. For further information visit www.firstgroup.com/glasgow or call Customer Services on 0141 423 6600 for more details.

It is beyond me why they couldn’t put all the information on the notice — we have just enough information to make a phone call or visit a website — hey, yeah, thanks for that guys!

Just in time for Christmas office parties, when people will be leaving their cars and relying on public transport!

Things are getting worse when routes are carved up like this anyway — everyone loses the plot.  Will the new operator be using the usual 121 bustops (the First Glasgow stops)? Will the timetable remain, or will it change for the better or worse?  What about fares?  Will bus passes, travel passes and cards still work?

What a mess — and we didn’t even see it coming (bit like the bus service itself)!

I Cannot Spell My Own Name!

A PUBLIC NOTICE GOES BEYOND PROOF-READING AND SPELL-CHECKING, AND SETS A NEW LOW STANDARD.

The notice (click on picture to enlarge) reads as follows:

My name is Davuid Hoggan and I am the Store
Manager.

I’ve worked for Tesco for 23 years, previously at the
store in    Glasgow

My team and I are here to help you.  If you have any
comments, please feel free to speak to one of us and
we will do our best to help.

If we are unable to resolve your query satisfactorily,
please contact our Customer Services Team on 0800-
028-6428.

Hi,
My name is David Hoggan and I’m the Store Manager
here at your Tesco Express.  My team and I are here
to help you.  We discuss any comments you make -
the good and the bad!  Hopefully we can deal with
them ourselves, but if not we will enlist the support of
colleagues in the office.

If you have a few minutes, please do stop for a chat. If
we are not able to help with your queries, please feel
free to contact our Customer Services Team on 0800-
028-6428.

Where does one start with this?

It is a mess, and it is a mess because they are trying to be informal — they are using the first person when it is inappropriate (it might have been forgiveable had a photograph of the Store Manager been employed next to the text).

It is a mess because they are tying to avoid using the word, “Complaint”. That is why they have said “comments”, and messed it up by saying that the comments can be good or bad, when obviously they mean bad comments (i.e. complaints)!

They seem to want Tesco customers to stop and have a chat with shop-floor staff and the Store Manager– to give them good comments so that they can discuss them among themselves.  If they cannot “deal” with your good comments, they reserve the right to “enlist” “support” from colleagues in “the office”.  If you feel your good comments have not been handled satisfactorily, then they want you to telephone a Customer Services Team!

It’s a mess because the manager couldn’t decide which notice to use, and so he clearly didn’t check anything properly — so it looks like he doesn’t even know his own name; is it Davuid or David?

It’s a mess because it is apparent that, despite the personal touch intended, it is clearly a template document.  The evidence of this is the long blank gap before the word “Glasgow”, where he was supposed to type in the store area name.  For all we know, the 23 years could be from the template, and he just forgot to substitute his actual number of years of service!

What is so wrong with a simple, straightforward notice on the lines of the following?

If you have a complaint, please speak in the first instance to a member of staff, or ask to see the Store Manager, Mr David Hoggan, who has worked for the company for 23 years.  If he cannot resolve your issues, the matter may be referred to the company offices.  If you then feel that the matter is still not resolved to your satisfaction, please telephone our free Customer Services helpline on 0800 028 6428.

Good grief!  Things are certainly getting worse when supermarket customers have to read drivel like this when they just want to complain about something, or ask for something to be stocked!  I suspect there is some bureaucratic Tesco requirement for all stores to put up such notices, and to (ab)use that language.

Put it this way, what chance has your complaint, when the company “thinking” is so muddled?

Scandalous: Council Secret Sell offs!

“DIRECT AND CARE” IS AN ANNOYING NAME FOR A COUNCIL DEPARTMENT BUT IT IS NO LONGER!

When I poked fun at “Direct and Care“ on this site, little did I know it really did have a bad name.  Not just that it was badly named, but that it was causing all sorts of financial trouble for the council.

I checked the City’s website this morning, and was surprised to see an entry dated a few days ago (31 October 2008 to be exact) regarding “Direct and Care”.

• www.glasgow.gov.uk/en/News/DirectCareLLP.htm

This is an amazing tale, and it demands your attention for a host of good reasons, not least of which is that almost no-one knows anything about what is going on!

Here’s the deal: “Direct and Care” grew to be one of the biggest council departments, with a staff of about 8000 civil servants.

Now, as you can imagine, all City councils are legally obliged — and committed — to meet financial targets set by the main government.

Back in June 2007, it was noticed that the so-called “Significant Trading Operations” (or “STOs”) of Glasgow’s “Direct and Care” department was in bad shape. Even their targets were to be met over a three year period, they were not on track to do this, they were heading for disaster!

So what to do?

The Executive Committee immediately asked for a “review” — they needed suggestions, ideas, and most of all, they needed answers — and fast.  They needed to get out of this hole — somehow.

So with Grant Thornton and Burness solicitors, a review of different options for getting out of trouble was produced.

The option that was decided upon was to privatise the department — something they had done before with “City Building”, “Culture and Sport Glasgow”, and “Glasgow Community and Safety Services”.  The council’s website puts it like this:

“Members of the Council’s Executive Committee today (Friday, 31 October 2008) approved a business plan to turn the department into the Council’s latest arm’s-length company…

The move means Direct and Care will have more opportunity to grow as a business by targeting the external market and should become more competitive in the longer term.”

Basically, there was no way this department was going to toe-the-line financially.  It was a huge money-pit.  There was no way the department would match the cheaper costs in the private sector — but they couldn’t just sack everyone, close down the department and put the workload out to competitive private tender. The City Leader, Steven Purcell said:

“If no action was taken by the Council it’s likely that we may have had to put these services out to competition, and winning contracts would be very difficult.”

Not one civil servant is made redundant, and the newly formed company will continue to provide the expensive and inefficient services we have come to expect — it’s just that because they are no longer aprt of the council, the targets are avoided and the council’s legal obligation evaporates!

Amusingly, the “business plan” produced as part of the review shows the new company becoming profitable in it’s FIRST year! It did not explain why it could not become profitable when run as a council department!

The company formed is a limited liability partnership, so if anything goes horribly wrong, the damage (liability) to the council will be limited — the council being in partnership with the private company — in that it provides work and money for the company but doesn’t take profits!

Things are getting worse when councils can do such significant things without asking the people who voted them into office and who pay for it all.

Things are getting worse when a loss-making department is turned into a loss-making company when the best way to serve the people would be to (a) run the departments better, or else (b) scrap everything and get quotes — the private companies quoting would obviously be unable to meet the sudden demand, so they would naturally have to employ experienced and qualified people — in other words, those who used to do the job for the council department.

This would separate the wheat from the chaff, and we’d get the best people for the best money, but no, we’ve got the wrost people for the worst money — and the government mechanism put in place to make councils more cost-effective has been by-passed.

Taxi “Enforcer”

TAXI AND PRIVATE HIRE ENFORCEMENT UNIT — YES, THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS ON THE VAN.

I saw a Glasgow City Council Taxi and Private Hire Enforcement Unit van today, and just had to take a photograph of it; no-one would believe me if I didn’t have evidence to back up the existence of this council-tax paid council department.

What on earth is going on with Glasgow City — are they all mad? If you can remember our post on the obscure department called “Direct and Care“, then it will come as no surprise that there exists a Taxi Enforcer!

Yes, things are getting worse! Oh, and enjoy the fireworks and bonfire at Glasgow Green tomorrow (everywhere else in the UK celebrations are tonight, but Glasgow is doing it tomorrow because Celtic and playing a game of football tonight in the city — maybe the council is touchy about celebrating the burning of a Roman Catholic [Guy Fawkes] on the night of a Celtic match)!

Jobcentreless

JOBS ARE GOING IN THE JOBCENTRE — HOW IRONIC!

Double click on the picture to enlarge.  The picture is a photograph of a poster sign stuck to the shop window frontage of the Shawlands Jobcentre — where people go to look for work.  It says:

“Jobcentre Plus is considering
closing this office and
delivering its services from
nearby Newlands office

“We welcome your views about what we
are planning to do.  The final decision has
not been made and your views would be
greatly appreciated.  If you wish to make
comment please write to:

“David Collie, District manager
Jobcentre Plus
Corunna House
39 Cadogan Street
Glasgow
G2 7SS

“or email
david.collie@jobcentreplus.gsi.gov.uk

“Jobcentreplus

“Part of the Department
for work and pensions”

It is patently obvious that they do not really want to close down the office and lose their jobs.  They want people to write (not call) a letter or e-mail in the vain hope that people will “demand” this office remain open.

Well, I for one will be writing and e-mailing to demand that this place be closed down as soon as possible and all the supercilious so-called civil servants be slung out on their fat, lazy arses to go look for real work in a real recession.  What do we need them for anyway?  Bank accounts and state benefits are automatic and computerised — as is looking for a job.

They don’t make calls for you, they don’t appraise, they don’t even have to write out the cards any more.  People just go in and look for a job themselves, using weird free-standing computer terminals.  Times have changed, let’s face facts.

On top of that, this old arcade has seen better days.  It needs knocked down and something else built in its place.  The more empty units we get, the more likely this will be to happen. The job centre “plus” needs to go!

This location has brought the arcade to its knees, to be honest.  It has attracted, over many years, the worst down-and-outs.  As a direct result, the shops in the immediate vicinity have turned into “unemployed world” — where one is surrounded by neds, druggies and smokers loitering outside the jobcentre, betting shop, arcade games shop, pound thrift shop and cheap pub. “Unemployment World” is really “Disny World”, as in: “disny work” or “disny gie a flying fork”.

Things are getting worse when they have to ask for support from these people. At the end of the day, it’s a bit like ecology in reverse.  We have built up this environment, and to remove the jobcentre might affect the migration patterns of neds, smokers and druggies!

I would urge everyone reading this to e-mail and write to demand closure NOW!

Sliced Bread is Illegal

THE COUNCIL OF EUROPE HAVE PASSED A LAW THAT FORBIDS THE SALE OF SLICED BREAD.

This is according to my local supermarket — where I saw a sign at the bakery.  Click on the picture to enlarge.  Please accept my apologies for the blurry image.  It says:

“Organic Bread

EU Regulations mean that we cannot
offer pre-sliced Organic Bread from our
instore bakery.  We can however slice
organic bread at your request but this
will be done on our regular bread slicer.
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.”

I find it amazing that there is an EU regulation on bread slicing — why would there be?  And why have they decided against slicing bread.

The next thing to worry about, is that the baker will slice your organic loaf — but that it will not be done using an organic-only slicer.  Perhaps some people will feel that their bread might be in some way contaminated by coming into contact with something not officially “organic”?

Is the world going mad, or is it just me that things things are getting worse?

The Silly Road Sign

IS THIS THE SILLIEST ROAD SIGN EVER?

Just look at it!  It is TINY.  It is the size of a business card.

It says “No loading at any time”, but you’d need to either have outstanding eyesight, or park your vehicle, and walk up to the sign to read what it says!  It is also very high up; you would need to be fairly tall to read it comfortably.

Look at the size of the pole that supports this small sign!

It beggars belief that they couldn’t have fixed this sign to the WALL — what a lot of bother digging up the pavement to erect the pole!

It is completely daft, and goes to illustrate the lack of common sense by local authorities who spend our hard-earned council taxes on bizarre things like this.

When I first saw this, I imagined it was some expensive public work of art; that’s how ridiculous it seemed.  Yes, things are getting worse!

Hazardous Bus Stops

THIS IS TRAFFIC CALMING GONE MAD.

We have posted before to explain what so-called “Traffic Calming” is really doing to us, but what we have found here is stress-inducing and life-threatening… and all for no apparent reason.

To set the scene, we have a big, spacious dual carriageway with an island in the middle and two lanes either side. The pavements are wide and there are bus stops. This is all just a few metres for a big roundabout in the Corkerhill area of Glasgow.

However, the town-planners have decided (reasons unknown) that the traffic flow was far too good, and so has narrowed the road down to one lane going in either direction. The way this has been done is annoying at best — and dangerous at worst. Look at the pictures and decide for yourself (Click on the pictures to enlarge).

Now, at certain times of the day, vehicles innocently and correctly travelling on the inside lane will suddenly discover that the road has abruptly ended, so a queue will form to try to merge with the faster moving traffic on the outside lanes. The queue backs up to the big roundabout and chaos ensues. Brilliant.

Now, as though this was not enough, the town-planner has decided that — at the very narrowest point — to put a bus stop! This is Academy Award Winning Stupidity! And it is done on BOTH SIDES of the road AT THE SAME POINT!

This means that, in addition to the traffic merging problem and the traffic back-up to the roundabout, EVERYONE has to wait behind a bus while people get off and on — and wait while they pay, get their change and find a seat!

Things will continue getting worse if we sit back and allow such blatant stupidity run riot at the council. At least the “Daftest Bus Stop” we found last year was not at all like these — the daftest bus stop was on a special bus lane, caused no delays, did not congest traffic and was not dangerous. It was just silly to have a shelter so far away from the bus stop. The mess they have made at Corkerhill, on the other hand, fails to raise a smile.