Scent Off

ANIMAL URINE SEEMS TO BE MORE OF A PROBLEM THAN WE’D FIRST THOUGHT.

After last week’s post on The Urinator, we have received this photograph of a product called Scent Off. I Googled this name, and lo and behold a full page of results all about this product!  How very different from The Urinator!

Clearly the smell of cat and dog pee is a bigger issue than we’d known or suspected.  How come this is not advertised on TV? This ought to be part of the school curriculum.  We have to get the word out about this.

I would imagine that on a Saturday Night, a lot of places could do with being treated with Scent off or The Urinator.  Things are getting worse indeed!

 

The Urinator

I HAD TO TAKE A SNAPSHOT OF THIS PRODUCT IN MY LOCAL SHOP.

The Urinator — well, that caught my attention for sure!

Just in case you thought that The Urinator was some kind of strange superhero, it seems to be a product for potty-training infants!

So I thought I would find out more about The Urinator, and typed it into my browser’s address bar. I then got a pop up dialog box that stated:

Attention: The intent of the manufacture and sale of The Urinator is strictly for protecting your privacy of  a genetically predisposed medical condition

I clicked OK, and was presented with a website at www.urinator.com selling some “product” for nearly 150 US Dollars!  This simply cannot be the same thing as stocked in my local shop!

However, even after reading the page entitled “What is The Urinator?”, I had no idea what it is, does nor why it exists at all!

Another search turned up a tee-shirt at Zazzle.co.uk, so no luck with Google.

Things are getting worse when a product can easily be confused with another product altogether.

I eventually found a site called www.robharvey.com which had The Urinator – a product for cleaning items upon which cats and dogs have urinated. This doesn’t look like the product in my shop, and it is not for the same purpose (pets), but it is a lot nearer than all the other suggestions that the world’s favourite search engine returned. Anyway, couldn’t they have thought up a better name? Shhesh! It took me two minutes on the web, why couldn’t they have done this before naming their product and printing those labels?

Bad Name For Barbers

I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE THE NAME OF THIS BARBERS SHOP! What were they thinking? We were sent this snap taken in deepest darkest England recently, and can only think that this must be an example of some wry local humour.

Things are definitely getting worse when a barber calls his shop “Wiggies”.  What do you think? Do you fancy your chances?  One has to suppose that a bad haircut could easily be solved by a new wig!

 

Danger Pond!

A PLEASANT STROLL AROUND THE PONDS OF QUEEN’S PARK SEEMED LIKE A DELIGHTFUL IDEA UNTIL THIS SCARY SIGN WAS NOTICED.

[Double left click on the image to enlarge, as always]

The picture I took shows a pond with a sign sticking out of it.  The sign simply says:

“DANGER
BLUE
GREEN
ALGAE”

What on earth does that mean?  Will this Blue Green Algae rise up from the depths and grab us by the ankles to drag us off to the deep?

Perhaps it just means we have a slip hazard — that blue green algae is slippery. Thing is, I could not see anything slippery on the paths.

What the devil is Blue Green Algae? Is it a dust? a liquid?  A winged serpent? What ought I be looking out for?  Will it fall from the trees? will it run after us? Is it blue or green — or blue-green — or do they mean it is both blue and green (that both the blue and the green varieties are dangerous)?

Yes, things are getting worse when signs strike fear into English-speaking passers-by.

Council Cleaning Con

THE CITY COUNCIL ALWAYS AMAZES ME BY THEIR SHIRKING OF RESPONSIBILITY.

Take this poster for example.  Double left click on the image to enlarge.

This is a poster in a charity chop window on Kilmarnock Rd (which is the main street in Shawlands). It is about so-called “Community cleaning of a lane”.

Yes, it is advertising the fact that the council wants local residents to clean their own streets and lane.  Hey, isn’t that what we pay council tax for?

Things are getting worse when the council can take council tax from us, and then get us to do the work ourselves! How Bizarre!

UFO Parking Bay

I SAW A VERY STRANGE THING IN THE CAR PARK OF THE ASDA SUPERMARKET IN GOVAN LAST NIGHT.

Normally (in my personal experience), supermarket car parks contain car parking bays and places for stacking up shopping carts.

Determining the one from the other is fairly straightforward; the bays for the carts have a trolley or two and rails at the sides to demarcate the region and to prevent damage to cars parked in the bays each side.

However, if you double left click on the image, you will see that this is a zone that is completely enclosed!  A trolley could not be wheeled in, and a car, pram or bike cannot be parked there — so this begs the question: what is this all about?

Things are getting worse when valuable parking space is wasted for no apparent reason. How bizarre! The only answer we can come up with is for UFOs.

GP Scared of Swine Flu

I WAS SURPRISED TO COME ACROSS THIS NOTICE IN THE WINDOW OF THE MAIN GP SURGERY IN SHAWLANDS.

Double click on the picture to enlarge.

However, in case you cannot see the image properly, it states:

“SWINE FLU

IF YOU THINK YOU
MAY HAVE THE SWINE
FLU PLEASE DO NOT
COME INTO THE
SURGERY. GO HOME
AND CALL US AND WE
WILL ASK A GP OR
NURSE TO CALL YOU BACK.”

Boy is this GP scared of swine flu — he or she is not taking any chances — in case “the swine flu” (sic) can be transmitted by telephone, a nurse may call you.

Things are getting worse when a medical diagnosis is done over the telephone, and even worse when it may be done by a nurse!

• If you’re getting worse, you’re getting nurse. (apologies; I couldn’t resist that bad joke).

Now, the television and wireless have been keeping me bang up to date on the swine flu topic, and I have to say that I have been confident and reassured as a result.  That is until now.

When I saw this notice on the main road in Shawlands, I began to get scared for the first time. Things must be getting worse when the doctors are so frightened by it!

Shawlands Fried Chicken

BLATANT CASHING IN — DON’T WE ALL LOVE IT?

I was quite struck by this poster in a local shop window.

It reminded me of something, but I could not for the life of me remember what it was.

On further reflection, I realised that it was still a chicken-based deep-fried product… Hmmm:

• SFC.
• Fried Chicken.
• Red and white stripes.
• Secret herbs and spices.

But what I am thinking of is not SFC, but something else. Nope. I just cannot think what this reminds me of! Things must be getting worse!

Big Pupils

MY EYES GREW LARGE IN DISBELIEF WHEN  I SPOTTED THIS CHILDREN’S LUNCH MENU IN A LOCAL SHOP.

No wonder kids are fat these days!

• 1/2 pizza (deep fried) and chips
• sausage and chips
• popcorn chicken and chips
• chips
• roll and chips
• chips and curry
• chips and gravy
• chips and cheese
• fritters
• roll and fritters

Deep fried fat hell is on the school menu! Not a green vegetable, not a meat (except from chicken and sausage), just deep fried fatty potatoes basically!

Things are getting worse when shops are able to target school children in this way.

Poor Barry

POOR BARRY – WHOEVER HE IS!

I was strolling through Shawlands the other day and saw that the newsagents — Barry’s — had an unusual way of informing people of Barry’s situation or whereabouts.  As I had my camera with me, I could not resist taking the picture for you all to enjoy. Click on the image to enlarge.

Things are getting worse when a post-it note won’t do.