Security Measures

SECURITY FOR A CHUCK WAGON?

It is good to know that your office, bank, shop, factory, pub or nightclub is secure — especially when it is closed for business. CCTV cameras are familiar sights, but it seems more usual to see patrols of security guards or bouncers, usually with radios, and sometimes with a dog.

Heck, this snack bar must be a veritable goldmine to have a main security firm looking after it in the afternoon while the staff nip to the cash-and-carry for rolls and coke . I don’t see any cameras, and I waited to see if the security patrol was walking around the wagon to no avail — so the only explanation is that the guard is inside the wagon!

This one made me laugh, but these signs are everywhere:

WARNING!

THESE PREMISES ARE PROTECTED BY

…

More often than not the sign is on the fence erected around a building being demolished or built — in other words, not really “premises” at all! I do object to the “WARNING” — I feel that it is a tad aggressive, what are they warning us of? The harm that might befall us for trespassing? Wouldn’t it be a lot better and more accurate if the signs started with …

ATTENTION!

or even

NOTICE

In any case, I have yet to see a security guard looking after a demolished building or vacant flat bit of city real estate.

How Queeeer!

ANYONE CAN MAKE A MISTAKE; to err is human, after all — but that is for the spontaneous stuff.

For example, you can nip out for an errand with your shirt out or your flies open, but you wouldn’t get married or meet the queen without at least a glance in the mirror just to make sure everything was correct and in order — so why is it that people continue to send letters and make posters without checking the meaning, layout, grammar and spelling?

The example here is of a poster in a shop window on a busy city centre road. Please click on the picture to enlarge.

Not only does this display a poor level of education, but it is also a sad and shameful reflection of society that we can tolerate such a poster, and that such a poster is needed. What kind of people are we becoming — and what sort of legal system do we have where a shop can shirk off responsibility so easily?

The Clyde Arc

THE OFFICIAL NAME FOR THE SQUINTY BRIDGE IS THE CLYDE ARC.

This is the latest bridge over the river Clyde in Glasgow. It is a significant break with the past.

The Bells Bridge was built with a moving middle section that rotated around a central pillar in the middle of the river. The next bridge along is the Millennium Bridge, which has a two hinged sections that swing down from the vertical to meet in the middle of the river. These devices allow ships and boats to pass. Until recently the next bridge across the Clyde was the Kingston Bridge — which was built very high up to allow ships and boats to pass beneath.

That all ends with the Clyde Arc — this is a low built bridge that does not have a mechanical moving section. Not only does it stop river traffic, but the bridge crosses diagonally!

The word is that this bridge was built simply to persuade BBC Scotland and STV to relocate to the southside of the river. It is certainly very difficult to find a route that gets you onto the bridge. It just seems like such a lot of money for very little traffic.

Everyone knows the problems of the Kingston Bridge, so there was a chance that lessons could be learned for the Clyde Arc — but looking at this bridge now, it just seems a silly idea executed in a silly way in a silly place. No wonder it opened to protests.

Newcastle

It is not taking traffic from the Kingston — so that problem remains unsolved. It is not unique — the design is similar to quite a few recently built bridges, and this spoils the area — the “Armadillo” and Science Tower juxtaposed with the Crane.

York

The squinty bridge is also very obviously very badly constructed — they seem to have got all the welded lugs in the wrong positions. these have clearly been cut off and relocated, and the original positions welded up. Oh, it really is far too shoddy for words! Perhaps THAT is why it is called the squinty bridge! Click images to enlarge and see the patching for yourself.

Balls?

CONCRETE BALLS?

What is the point of this? Is it perhaps to stop cars parking? I cannot figure it out — just look at the picture and be amazed at the number of gigantic stone balls in this small area of our once fair city. I tell you things might be getting worse, but there’s maybe a hidden message here — what do you think?

Waterfront Apartments Are Not Posh!

LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I ASSUMED THAT APARTMENTS ON THE CLYDESIDE WOULD BE EXCLUSIVE — BUT THEY ARE FAR FROM IT!

There’s one big flat overlooking the clyde and the “Squinty Bridge” (Clyde Arc) that has a larger balcony as it is atop a restaurant.  What do we find on this balcony?  That’s right — washing out to dry — on a whirlygig!

Click the pic to get an enlarged view. Note the proximity of the street lamp!

Then I started to notice the bicycles on the balconies — perhaps the occupants are too poor to afford a car or public transport?

You wouldn’t believe it, would you? Kind of spoils the look, don’t you think?  Do those millionaires really have to live like this? Do we really have to put up with looking at what they put out in their verandas? Would you put out washing so close to city traffic and traffic lights under a perforated balcony? Yes, things are getting worse!

See Also:

• Holy Balcony! (15 September 2007).

Shop Affront

A HELMET ON THE END OF A SAUSAGE?

Can they be serious? This is the sign and shop front for a city centre sandwich bar — and, okay, sure — I can see what they were trying to achieve, more or less — but come on: did no-one check the work before they paid up? Maybe this is deliberate? Who knows! Click on image for a closer look (as ever).

To Let or Not To Let

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I just had to stop and laugh at this notice pasted up on the window of a Glasgow tenement flat, it seems a fair assumption that the tenant of the flat has a grudge about the condition, and wanted to warn prospective renters of the problem. Potential purchasers would be obliged to get a structural survey as part of the security conditions for their mortgage, so the notice must be aimed at people who might rent.

There’s definitely a story behind this wee notice, quite what it is escapes me — especially as the landlord has not even bothered to remove the notice! Could the tenant still be in occupation? If so, then why put a forwarding address on the notice? Then I just had to burst out laughing; I had just turned to leave when I spotted the following:

Yes! The flat had been up for rent — and the notice had not deterred after all; the flat was let! What on earth is going on these days? I feel sorry for the tenant who felt so strongly — and I would pity the new tenants were it not for the notice — perhaps the new folk cannot read English? Oooh — Things are definitely getting worse!